Rejections, Acceptance, and Waiting

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I could go into detail about my own personal trials, but I don’t think the details matter, plus they might bore some.  I think that we all experience rejection of some kind, when what we seek after or hope for ends in disappointment.  It turns out that the things that we think we need or want are not always part of God’s plan.  Sometimes when we really want something, Satan will tease us with a counterfeit that at the moment seems like everything we ever dreamed up.. but wait.  Then, after we set our heart on it, our hopes are disappointed.  I suppose part of the difficulty in waiting is actually  waiting.  I could have said yes when counterfeits presented itself, or pushed for them, yet I didn’t.  For that I am grateful.  The times when I would have clung to that counterfeit blessing, God closed the door or intervened somehow.  We can be confident that all things in are God’s control.    One thing is clear that despite what our personal trial is, as we wait there is something greater in store for us.  James 1:4 explains to us that when we experience trials and are forced to wait for better times, then it makes us perfect.  Once we are made perfect, then we don’t lack any good thing.  God is certainly able to give us what we need right now, he could bring us riches, a perfect partner, a child, fame or popularity, restored health right now.  Surely his word even explains to us that it is his plan to make us prosper.  Yet, it is God’s plan to make us truly prosper and we are also told that any good thing we have on earth, is only momentary.  Even when he finally gives us what he has promised to us, we won’t have what is needed to be truly perfect and have lasting wellness, until a greater work is done within our heart, our understanding, our soul.  As I’ve waited to have the perfect relationship, hoping to get rid of the loneliness I feel or adding increased satisfaction to me and my family, something has happened.  My needs and desires have changed, and are still evolving.  For surely our light and momentary afflictions are truly only light and momentary compared to the greater glory that will result (2 Corinthians 4:17).  We have three choices the way I see it, we can either rush the process, taking control and grabbing hold of the counterfeit, which will lead to even greater disappointment.  We can be miserable and sulk while we wait, getting angry, rebellious, having a bad attitude, becoming hopeless and frustrated, which does not rush the process it just only adds to our suffering, or we can wait, pray, praise God and focus on what he wants us to focus on.  Hebrews chpt. 12 have much to say about enduring hardship and sufferings, in which we are encouraged to think of our trials as God’s discipline, not the kind of discipline that we call punishment, but rather discipline as in training.  In Hebrews 12:11 we are told something very important, that “if” we are trained by it, we will reap a harvest of righteousness that will be so satisfying.  The key word is “if”.  This has told me that my attitude during personal trials will determine “if” I am being trained by them, or if I am just being like a child and having a tantrum.  We have a choice.  Trials are allowed from God for one purpose, and that is to train us.   The old testament is full of evidence that supports that God used trials to win back his children, to bring them to repentance and to train them, changing their hearts, but many of his children grew rebellious.  The crew that were delivered from Pharoh in Exodus are an example of children with stinky attitudes that chose to have disbelief, despite the miraculous works that they had witnessed, who lacked trust though they tested God repeatedly, and who God finally decided to not allow them to inherit the blessing that he was leading them to in the first place.  I don’t want to become that obstinate, willfully rebellious child who God finally decides not to give me the inheritance he had promised.  I want to be trained, I will take my licks and learn my lessons, and afterwards I will be grateful and trust him regardless of what he dishes out to me.  You want to give me manna rather than meat, ok God done.  Yum.  Am I getting irritated again, ok Lord I’m sorry my flesh grows weak sometimes please have mercy on me and please don’t stop guiding and correcting me, but do what you feel is needed so that I will repent.  I am yours Lord, I want what you plan to give me, and if it is only the desert place then I will praise you for it because father knows best.  I trust God.  I believe.  He is my portion.  Change me Lord, amen.

Trust In God Alone

I am at a place in my life in which I must believe God. I know his voice.. yet, I am not one that just takes him at his voice. Just as I don’t take a prophesy as a done deal. I must see and hear him over and over again. I hate to admit it, but I’m starting to wonder if I’m truly a doubting Thomas. It is not God who I don’t trust really, it is myself. I’ve been told this before, and since I’ve been told this, I’ve found out that it is true. I think most people will admit that if they heard God’s voice, and they knew it was his will, then they wouldn’t doubt. We see a few examples of this in the bible.. 1 John 5:15 states that when we know God hears us, then we know that we will have what we asked for. Also, we have an example in Matthew 8:2 in which a man with leprosy told Jesus, “Lord, if you are willing.. then you can make me clean”. The issue isn’t that we doubt that the Lord is able, rather the issue is that we doubt he is willing. So, when I hear God’s voice and it doesn’t make sense, then I will keep asking or trying to figure out the answer. I am admitting right now that I must hear it in many different forms, and see it in many different ways before I will finally say, “The Lord is clearly telling me…….” because I do not want to delude myself or misinterpret anything! Plus, doubt is there…

Now, there certainly is a difference between doubt that we have, and the doubt that talks to us and makes us question. Questioning is not bad, after all.. we should be sure that we are sure that we are sure that we are hearing God. So, that being said, maybe all this doubting or “questioning” is a good thing. Maybe there is a difference between doubt, which is truly questioning our belief, or believing, but wanting to make extra sure.. this is caution. Now in Philipians chapter 4 we are told to be cautious/anxious for nothing, supposing which version of the bible you are reading. However, if we step out in faith, but have doubts.. then how is whatever we are stepping out to do ever going to weather the storm.

This is how I gain so much confidence in any stand that I take. I take my stands with confidence that won’t waver, because my stance has already been affirmed to me. I’ve already weighed it, or it was given so clearly to me beyond a shadow of the doubt. If having temptations to doubt, or if having doubts leads us to question God for extra confirmation, then is that a bad thing? I think not! Let’s take Gideon for example. I have a friend who always recommends Gideon’s approach to faith. Gideon was told by God that he was to raise an army to defeat the enemy. At first he questioned, not God’s ability, but rather he questioned himself. He questioned his own worth. He questioned if God would really do this for him, he wanted to be certain that he heard God right. So he tested God. You see, the word says do not test God, but in this situation Gideon was seeking reassurance, not being challenging… he wanted to know for sure, so he asked God for a specific sign, and he gave it to him, a couple days in the row. Until Gideon was sure. You see, I think that the bible gives us enough examples of men questioning God and asking specific requests and requirements of God, and God being patient and granting them to show us that God is NOT concerned that we question him. He is actually very patient. He is more concerned about us being sure. So we should seek his face until we are sure.

Now, once we are certain, then we should take the step of faith. Because once we are doing what we are told to do in Ephesians 6:13, to do all that we can do to stand, then we continue to stand. This means that challenges will come against us in the form of circumstances, people discouraging words, tests.. and this is how we develop patience. Do not grow weary in doing good, in this case obeying God and trusting in him… but rather hold fast to that promise that you have not yet received. God told Abraham he would have a child by Sarah, yet they grew weary in waiting, actually it was sarah who grew weary in waiting, so she offered her hand maiden, suggesting the promise would come by her. She was a test to Abraham. Abraham did as she suggested, however if he had stood firm on what God had originally said to him, then maybe they would have never beget Ishmael. However, God is so wise in that he allows certain events to take place because he has a bigger plan and purpose. There is yet a plan for this enemy nation towards Israel, the Ishmaelites . How do I know? Well, I could give you scripture about how God makes everything to work for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purposes. Abraham beget Ishmael, do we really think that God would not also bless him? Even if he wasn’t part of God’s instruction, God is good and still has a purpose. Do you believe? I believe.

I went on a bunny trail for God’s purposes. What God is doing in my life is he is bringing me to a place of surrender to trying to figure out things in my own understanding, and just to trust him. You see, it was also Gideon who God did the impossible through. He not only gave Gideon victory, but he did it with a handful of men compared to the large army that Gideon in his rational mind concluded was needed, God reduced that. You see, God specializes in doing the impossible. We just have to obey him. That is the only part we are to play. God, please help me trust and obey. Amen.

Dear Lord

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You have told me this week that the reason my plan failed is because I didn’t listen to you in the first place, and rather than relying on you I was afraid and relied on man. No more by your grace. You keep moving me to place all my cares in your hands, and also to make you my portion and my source . Thank you holy God. Please help my book and my writings bring you glory and touch lives as you can use it the best. Your word is so rich with life that it only takes a small drop to infect and save a life. By the leading of your spirit I really just wanted to honor and praise you. You are the best lover, you care about souls. You also work to ensure that every soul is redeemed dear Savior and God allows you to create every story into a timeless, endless story. I am blessed beyond measure because im redeemed. 💖I love you Lord. Thank you for being you. Be blessed today. Amen.

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How Much Do You Love God

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My lesson this week is to not worry. The Lord showed it to me as a command and I posted it in a lesson, presenting it as sin. Many said they never thought about it that way, a couple people disagreed.. one lady very adamantly. I asked her how she can not think it is a sin when it is commanded for us not to worry. If we as humans considered worry to be punishable, then we might take this command more seriously. She pointed out that sin is violating the 10 commandments, but if you think about it.. worrying violates the greatest commandment, and that is that we should love the Lord our God first and with all of our strength. Jesus teaches us that if we truly love God, then we will keep his commandments.

 

Loving God means that we celebrate who he is, and when we really believe in him, then we trust him. It is very hurtful when the person who says they love you cannot trust you. How would you feel if someone says they love you in one breath , yet in the next breath they ask us to prove we are trust worthy.. my next question to that person is.. “you say you love you.. but you question my integrity.. so how can you mean it when you say you love me.. if you don’t realize who I really am?”. When asked what to call him, God replied “I am that I am”.

In essence , loving God means that we love what makes him who he is. Who is he? He is perfect love, he is able, he is faithful, he is omnipresent and omnipotent. So say we don’t trust him means we don’t know who he is.. and if we don’t really understand him, how then can we really mean it if we say we love him.

When we say that we love him, then that means we love what is right, because he is righteous. If we say we love him, then we also mean that we love the truth. So if we say we love him, but then treat his truth as if it is a lie, then we lie when we say we love him and the truth is not in us. This just means that we are deceived. We seem to think that believing in God, or even having respect for God.. means that we love God. But we don’t even know or understand who he is so we don’t really know what we are saying.. until we start obeying his commands. This is so helpful to me. This week ive found grace to really give up a couple things .. including worry. If I worry when im told directly not to.. then it is sin. If i partake in active worry instead of reminding my mind what scripture says, and that my God is able, faithful or that he cares about me.. then i am disbelieving.. and disbelief is sin. Even if one still refuses to call worry and disbelief sin, then we could call it a gateway sin.. disbelief in him and his word leads to sin of every kind. Eve trespassed the and ate forbidden fruit because she allowed herself to disbelieve what God said.. that eating that fruit would lead to permanent death.

If God tells us not to worry about our lives, then he tells us this for a reason. Lord, help us all believe without a shadow of doubt, obey, and enter heavenly rest 💖