Big H, Little h

 

Big H, little h, what is that about?  It is about making the big H big, and making the little h little.  The big H equals “Him”, or God.  The little h represents all the high things that we exalt above him, rather than making them little.  Examples of the little things that are high includes: worries, cares of this life, things we want or think we need, hobbies, and basically anything that distracts us from God’s will.  In this case we have placed more emphasis on the lower case h’s, placing them in a high place in our mind, while the Big H has become lost, or low towards the bottom.  In order to have true equilibrium in our lives, the little high things need to be brought down to be lower than the Big H, and “He” needs to tower over them.  Big H needs to be exalted.  Think about it, what are you worrying about right now?  What is occupying your mind, heart, and life outside of God?  “He” said that we are to put no other God before him, and that we are to love him with all of our hearts, minds, and strength, but the little h’s have taken over our lives and distracted us from making “Him” capitalized.  We need to bring the “high things”, or the little h’s down and start magnifying the big H, which is “Him”.  Make the Big H your capital H today and all else will fit perfectly into place.

Rejections, Acceptance, and Waiting

rejection

I could go into detail about my own personal trials, but I don’t think the details matter, plus they might bore some.  I think that we all experience rejection of some kind, when what we seek after or hope for ends in disappointment.  It turns out that the things that we think we need or want are not always part of God’s plan.  Sometimes when we really want something, Satan will tease us with a counterfeit that at the moment seems like everything we ever dreamed up.. but wait.  Then, after we set our heart on it, our hopes are disappointed.  I suppose part of the difficulty in waiting is actually  waiting.  I could have said yes when counterfeits presented itself, or pushed for them, yet I didn’t.  For that I am grateful.  The times when I would have clung to that counterfeit blessing, God closed the door or intervened somehow.  We can be confident that all things in are God’s control.    One thing is clear that despite what our personal trial is, as we wait there is something greater in store for us.  James 1:4 explains to us that when we experience trials and are forced to wait for better times, then it makes us perfect.  Once we are made perfect, then we don’t lack any good thing.  God is certainly able to give us what we need right now, he could bring us riches, a perfect partner, a child, fame or popularity, restored health right now.  Surely his word even explains to us that it is his plan to make us prosper.  Yet, it is God’s plan to make us truly prosper and we are also told that any good thing we have on earth, is only momentary.  Even when he finally gives us what he has promised to us, we won’t have what is needed to be truly perfect and have lasting wellness, until a greater work is done within our heart, our understanding, our soul.  As I’ve waited to have the perfect relationship, hoping to get rid of the loneliness I feel or adding increased satisfaction to me and my family, something has happened.  My needs and desires have changed, and are still evolving.  For surely our light and momentary afflictions are truly only light and momentary compared to the greater glory that will result (2 Corinthians 4:17).  We have three choices the way I see it, we can either rush the process, taking control and grabbing hold of the counterfeit, which will lead to even greater disappointment.  We can be miserable and sulk while we wait, getting angry, rebellious, having a bad attitude, becoming hopeless and frustrated, which does not rush the process it just only adds to our suffering, or we can wait, pray, praise God and focus on what he wants us to focus on.  Hebrews chpt. 12 have much to say about enduring hardship and sufferings, in which we are encouraged to think of our trials as God’s discipline, not the kind of discipline that we call punishment, but rather discipline as in training.  In Hebrews 12:11 we are told something very important, that “if” we are trained by it, we will reap a harvest of righteousness that will be so satisfying.  The key word is “if”.  This has told me that my attitude during personal trials will determine “if” I am being trained by them, or if I am just being like a child and having a tantrum.  We have a choice.  Trials are allowed from God for one purpose, and that is to train us.   The old testament is full of evidence that supports that God used trials to win back his children, to bring them to repentance and to train them, changing their hearts, but many of his children grew rebellious.  The crew that were delivered from Pharoh in Exodus are an example of children with stinky attitudes that chose to have disbelief, despite the miraculous works that they had witnessed, who lacked trust though they tested God repeatedly, and who God finally decided to not allow them to inherit the blessing that he was leading them to in the first place.  I don’t want to become that obstinate, willfully rebellious child who God finally decides not to give me the inheritance he had promised.  I want to be trained, I will take my licks and learn my lessons, and afterwards I will be grateful and trust him regardless of what he dishes out to me.  You want to give me manna rather than meat, ok God done.  Yum.  Am I getting irritated again, ok Lord I’m sorry my flesh grows weak sometimes please have mercy on me and please don’t stop guiding and correcting me, but do what you feel is needed so that I will repent.  I am yours Lord, I want what you plan to give me, and if it is only the desert place then I will praise you for it because father knows best.  I trust God.  I believe.  He is my portion.  Change me Lord, amen.

Prophesies

Within the last 48 hours I’ve had 3 men approach me and give me a word from the Lord. Each word has pertained to ministry. I’m being told God has given me favor. I’m told I will lead many people and help them. I’ve been told God will help me and he’s with me. It is God who has inspired a few destiny helpers to think to pray for me regarding these things. The thing is that I already know God is leading me into evangelism. I know I will visit other countries and lead people. I don’t know how, except that God will guide. I don’t need people to validate this to me, however the fact that God inspired people to approach me and speak to me concerning this is very encouraging. I am writing a book. I feel like I’ve been saying this forever, but it’s taken me this long to get to this point. It is intimidating writing this book because I’ve never written a book before, though I know this is what I’m made for. I finally got through my outline which I had taken a short cut and tried to skip doing an outline, which just ended up delaying the process more. I would claim that it’s been a waste of time, but that would be false. Even though I haven’t made the progress I’d wanted to by now, all the work I had put into brain mapping, outlining, writing thoughts here and there.. filling up note book after note book with ideas, all eventually lead me to the actual writing of the book. So all the books and articles I’ve read about writing a book has been accurate in that they all say one common thing, and that is that at the end of the day, what matters is to write. So I had finally gritted my teeth and pushed myself past the automatic discouragement, fear, and distractions that want to derail me. I also never sit down anymore to write without first praying for God’s grace to help me write. This has been fundamental in getting me through the process. I am confident that future books (a couple are already in the budding stages) won’t be so painfully long to get accomplished.

I’ve had several prophesies, dreams, and visions regarding my future in ministry. I had been afraid to openly talk about such things for fear that it looks like I’m bragging. However, I am continually reminded by the Lord that the reason why he shows me some things is so that I can declare it from the mountain tops. Sure, there are areas that I could have more discretion in, and discretion is what I have been asking for a lot lately. Discretion of the spirits of every matter, because up til now during my entire spirit filled life I had been pulled by two voices. God’s and the counterfeit, 3 if you consider my own. I had asked people about this experience much this past year, and I don’t get a lot of feedback, other than “his sheep know his voice”.. which at first I took as offense because I felt like they were implying I didn’t know God’s voice. People just aren’t always going to be able to judge our experiences because they are so personal and they just cannot know unless they were able to walk in our shoes for some days. The good that comes from this is that there is a purpose for all that we go through, and I have discovered that the reason I’ve been allowed to go through the spiritual experiences I have, especially concerning the spirit of fear, is so I can teach the world about distinguishing between God’s voice and Satan’s voice. This is preparation for the anti-Christ, because the biggest issue during that time will be that people will be lead astray and deceived by the counterfeit spirits, the signs and miracles, the appearance of Godliness that all have an appearance of wisdom, but all of them deny that Jesus is the Christ. Even believers will be deceived i believe. I believe this adamantly because of my own personal trial with being confused about the voice of the spirit of fear vs God’s holy spirit. Satan’s presence is so crafty that the feelings are very similar to that of the holy spirit, the words can be scriptural, yet have the wrong spirit. What about when you are prophetic but you hear two voices? It sounds like the same voice, however one voice leads you one direction, and the other the opposite direction. It is clear to me now that the only way a person will be able to rise above and overcome in following the Lord during such an experience is if they are truly crucifying their life, picking up their cross and truly obeying. The knowledge of the word in itself is dangerously deceptive in that knowledge can puff up and lead one to fool themselves into thinking they are in the right because they know what is right. Yet as they continue not obey the word they know, they will be lead the wrong way.. and think they are right in the process. God has set up our lives in a way that requires true devotion in order for us to be saved. However, even if we turn to the right or to the left, we will always hear a voice behind us telling us the right way… he will finish the good work he began in us that is for sure. Amen.