How Do I Know When I’m Ready?

twosticks

I’ve been wondering why I haven’t been able to successfully date someone?  I mean I recently had a boyfriend who was far away, we never met in person, but when it comes to dating men nearby I have anxiety.  Honestly, I have had anxiety anyways which also made it hard for me to enjoy my long distance relationship.  I realize that I have just not been really ready.  I know that God will make all things clear, and that he knows this is a topic that concerns me and he cares.  Sometimes it is the seeking that gives us the answers we need.  Only if we know the questions we seek.  I know that God will cause all things to work out for my good.  How do I know when its time?  I think that I will know it is right when I am not trying to force it.  I think I will know it is right when I am not trying to compromise.  I think that the reason I can wait, even though I hate waiting, is because I do not need a partner, though God may bless me with one.  I need only one, and that is God.  Two are better than one, but two is not mandatory, and should not replace our relationship with God.  God has made it clear to me that he makes me sufficient for my girls who don’t have their dad.  His love for me is also sweeter than that of any man.  When we have God, then we have all that we need.  I need to complete God’s project that he gave me.  I trust him to provide for all of my needs.  It is in the waiting he has shown me.  Maybe it is when I am certain that I am enough that I will be ready.  I don’t know if my self-concept will ever change, but God knows what I need.  He knows when I’m ready.  Lord, please lead me and enlighten the eyes of my understanding.  Amen.