I have an issue with questioning who my future husband will be. I inspect many people who come across my path. I have always been husband focused. I hate this. It is a desire that never meets satisfaction. I believe that everything will work out for my good, even the minor, more pesky challenges that I face. Even this issue I keep having. I believe that God uses this need within me to help me understand that he is my husband. No, I don’t believe it is wrong to remarry and I know I will marry again, but this time I have a new purpose, and that is to please Jesus and have true contentment. Not a life of my own making, but rather of his choosing. As I keep asking, “who is my husband”, I am reminded of the way God showed my heart to me today and revealed to me that he is working on my behalf about diverse things. Then I am once again reminded that God is my husband. What does it mean to call God my husband? It means that he watches out for me. He is faithful to me and is thinking about me. He understands me like no one else can understand me, and he is for me and not against me. He is the best listener. He is the most loyal friend. He is there even when I don’t deserve it. He cherishes me and tells me how much he adores me. He gives me gifts. He is Sovereign and reveals to me that he is in control and that I have to only trust him and obey. God is so Sovereign, when I look upon this I have a deeper need within me met that wants to be submissive. I want to let him lead me. I want to be cared for and loved. I don’t want to be mistreated. God is truly my husband, and I can enjoy this union with him even better than if I was married to a carnal man. Lord, help me forget about this need or put it in its proper place. Amen.
God I want to please you. Please help me be pleasing to you. I find it hard to focus even my thoughts on you as there are so many hindrances in this life to keep us distracted. It takes great discipline to focus on your face and giving you praise. I understand with my mind that it is the right thing to do, however the flesh is deceiving and weak. Help me always put you first. Please make my thoughts pleasing to you, teach me how. Help me worship you and have the words to form a thought about you. I know it is right. Help me walk pleasingly in your sight. I want everything I do to be perfume to you. I want to always have pure motives. I want to understood everything that you think about me. I want more than anything to understand you. I have asked and still have hope that you will let me actually see your face. I wonder what you look like up close and personal. I wonder if you look like a child, or a beggar, or a saint. What of your eyes, do we have to be pure light to see with eyes. Do we have to have special glasses to filter the glory of your face before we see shape? I want to see what you look like. I want to be there with you and be where you are, and I want to dwell with you and always be at your side. I want to know you in the most intimate way. Help me I want to see your face. I want to be where you are, I want to know you. I think that you are maybe not what we would expect to see, maybe you are what we would call “ugly” but yet be the most beautiful because of the inner beauty that emanates. I want intimacy in such a real way, with the Lord of lights. Maybe, just maybe I was designed to truly be the bride of Jesus. Amen.
I found the perfect lover finally after trying several bad ones. Let me tell you about him and you can decide if you agree. He always cares about me. He doesn’t just tell me he cares, while showing in his actions that he doesn’t. He always listens to what I say and also he is paying attention to what I am not saying. He takes a look at everything that is going on in and around me and identifies needs that I have that I don’t even know that I have. He watches over my life and when he sees danger approaching me he warns me. He longs for me to spend time with him, unlike my past lovers I do not have to beg. When I am busy, he respects my space and still watches over and loves me. Eventually he tugs on me and asks me to come away with him to a secret place so that we can spend time together. When I am feeling sad and alone, I will hear his gentle voice tell me how much he loves me, and I will feel his strong comforting arms wrap around me. While I am being rejected by others I care about, he is standing beside me and tells me how valuable I am. He does not simply flatter me with words, but rather he means every word he says. When someone hurts me, he deals with them, sometimes making me feel bad for the person who crossed me, because that is how much he cares about me. When I am feeling bad about a mistake I made, or a failure.. when I don’t believe I am good enough, he approaches me and tells me that he loves me and that I am perfect to him and that I should forgive myself. Unlike other lovers, he’s always there. He has never once been unfaithful to me, even when I’ve ignored him and chased after others. He is faithful and I can trust in his authority 100% because he always has my best interest at heart when he tries to make decisions for me. He is also very wise, he really does know more than anyone else I have come across, and he is rich. He can afford anything, but he only gives me the gifts that are for my best. Have you figured out who I am talking about yet? His name is Jesus Christ. Because he has always been faithful to me, while I joined with unfaithful evil men, I have decided that I will now be faithful to him, and I have discovered that he truly is the best lover that any woman (or man) can have. He loves us more than a mother, a friend, a lover, a brother. I have committed my life to him, and by his grace will continue to yield my life to him day by day. I am the bride of Christ.