God Is My Husband

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I have an issue with questioning who my future husband will be.  I inspect many people who come across my path.  I have always been husband focused.  I hate this.  It is a desire that never meets satisfaction.  I believe that everything will work out for my good, even the minor, more pesky challenges that I face.  Even this issue I keep having.  I believe that God uses this need within me to help me understand that he is my husband.  No, I don’t believe it is wrong to remarry and I know I will marry again, but this time I have a new purpose, and that is to please Jesus and have true contentment.  Not a life of my own making, but rather of his choosing.  As I keep asking, “who is my husband”, I am reminded of the way God showed my heart to me today and revealed to me that he is working on my behalf about diverse things.  Then I am once again reminded that God is my husband.  What does it mean to call God my husband?  It means that he watches out for me.  He is faithful to me and is thinking about me.  He understands me like no one else can understand me, and he is for me and not against me.  He is the best listener.  He is the most loyal friend.  He is there even when I don’t deserve it.  He cherishes me and tells me how much he adores me.  He gives me gifts.  He is Sovereign and reveals to me that he is in control and that I have to only trust him and obey.  God is so Sovereign, when I look upon this I have a deeper need within me met that wants to be submissive.  I want to let him lead me.  I want to be cared for and loved.  I don’t want to be mistreated.  God is truly my husband, and I can enjoy this union with him even better than if I was married to a carnal man.  Lord, help me forget about this need or put it in its proper place.  Amen.

Who are the Sons of God?

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Romans 8:14 KJV “For as many are led by the Spirit of God, they are the Sons of God”

As we mature in our faith with God, then we leave the black and white of following religious laws, and we start following the leading of God instead.  Those who are led by God are the Sons (and daughters) of God.  We are also told that where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom (2 Corinthians 3:17).  That means that the law of life in Christ sets us free from the law of the sin of death.  This means that we are in a relationship with God now, and that he is the rule maker, not the law.  This means that he breaths life and meaning to the law, and we walk according to what he says rather than the law without the Spirit.  This does not by any means mean that we can live in lawlessness, but it means that we are not confined by the law.  How can that be?  The mystery that we are told in the bible, the same place where religious law resides, is that following God leads to a fulfillment of the law (Matthew 5:17).  However, following the law does NOT lead to a relationship with God.  Am I lying?  The bible itself tells us that (Romans 3:20, Galatians 3:11).  This means that I am free to do all things, though not all things are beneficial (1 Corinthians 10:23), therefore if a person explains to me that they are free according to their faith to indulge in certain activities that are not highly looked upon by the church, I don’t judge them, and neither should you!  Why?  Because a person’s salvation truly is between them and God, and we are told this in Romans 8:33.  Those who want to point out that they have a right to judge the church always leave out all the scriptures that warn against judging God’s servants, which far out number those that give them privilege to bring charge against God’s Saints.  The reason why we should be so cautious when it comes to judging another believer is that true Godly judgement requires a genuinely pure heart.  Many who judge are bitter, critical, and are not truly speaking in a heart of love and so they judge incorrectly in pride and are setting themselves up for judgment as well.  A true Son of God is led by the Spirit of God, not the law, rather they become a living epistle of the law.  Hallelujah!  In order for a person to have assurance that they are a true son of God, they must truly seek him and also obey him according to the faith they have been given so that on judgment day they won’t be among the deceived who may be told to depart from God because he never knew them in truth.

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Forgiven

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I had a dream this morning that I was tempted and eager to give into that temptation.  As  a matter of fact I had made a choice to give in, but while preparing to give in to the lusts of the flesh, I briefly looked to God and prayed.  What happened next was that he closed the doors.  I could have pushed them open and forced the sin, but instead I went with it and accepted that God looked out for me and prevented me from sinning.  While laying in bed awake afterwards I was feeling the weight of my flesh desires verses my knowledge of what is right.  I hate the idea of is standing before God after I had knowingly given into sin, especially after all that he has done for me, such as giving me the gift of knowledge and many mercies.  How can I not stand there condemned?  I would accuse myself!  I don’t need Satan to accuse me.  Usually scenarios like what happened in my dream adds to my anxiety because I know better, yet I choose to engage in that temptation anyways.  But, in my dream God delivered me.  God has forgiven me.  I also think of all the people who I judged because they gave into their weaknesses and knowingly sinned against me or a loved one.  Here’s a difficult concept for some people to accept, God knows we are evil in our flesh nature, and he has chosen to forgive us.  Jesus died so that when I sin, it can be forgiven.  Does that mean that I or anyone should knowingly engage in sin?  No, we should not knowingly engage in sins, yet there are times when we will.  If it was not for his forgiveness, great love, and mercy then who could stand?  No one could stand.  I am just not good enough.  No one is good enough.  We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.  This is reason to praise God.  He loved us enough that while we were sinners he died for us.  Lord, please help me remember that forgiveness is necessary in relationships even when the other person lets us down, and that love covers a multitude of sins.  Thank you for reminding me that you love me despite my temptations and failures.  It is my desire that I won’t fail anymore.  Help me be stronger than I am, yet I am grateful that without your grace I cannot succeed.  It is because you love me and forgive me that I am able to stand.  Deliver me from evil, and from temptations.  Lift up my feet so that I will soar above the trials and not hit my feet on the stones.  I am righteous because you have loved me and because I said no even though I could have.  You want me to remember that.  I was tempted, but when you made a way out, I took it.  Thank you for making a way out.  Thank you for encouraging me that before your site and because of your great wisdom, I am righteous.  I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus.  Amen.  What the Lord is telling me this morning is that this is spiritual warfare, and that no weapon formed against me will prosper.  Hallelujah!

Forgiveness-Newsletter

Only God

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Today I am reflecting on how we are to think of ourselves with sober judgement.  We all feel special to some extent, because we are.  How can we not be when we were made in God’s image?  We are made to reflect God’s glory.  Yet, sometimes we only focus on our attributes rather than the bigger picture which is, how the world might view us.  As I consider the world’s view of myself, or rather how someone who isn’t biased might view me, I realize that without the vision of God, I look like an ordinary average person.  I see my weaknesses and my flaws.  I can see the difference between my ideal of myself, and what I am in reality.  The truth is that only God can make this unappealing earthen vessel into his master piece.

Also, I realize that only God can help me overcome my every day to day obstacles, the Lord knows I have not been able to do this myself.  Only God can justify me.  Only God can defend me.  Even now it comes to knowledge that all those who would think to form a plot against me, or think evil of me, God is there interceding for me as we speak.  Only God knows me as I hope to be, only God is able to truly believe in me.  Each person is unique.  Each person is without hope, and only God can redeem them.  Each person needs God’s mercy, the mercy that only God can provide.

Only God stays near me, even when I fail.  I fail all of the time.  Only God can love me, even when I am unlovable.  Only God can uphold me, and my purpose is for him.  Without him I would had already committed suicide years ago, even if I didn’t die, I would be dead already on the inside without him.  He truly is the only good being in this life.  No, there are good people, lovable, caring souls but no one is perfect, even Jesus said only God is truly good.  There just isn’t any purpose in this life, and only God is the reason why I find myself.  I was created to know him.  I was created to praise him.  I was not ever able to be satisfied by anything in this life, except for God.  Only God.

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The Little Things

just updating some blogs

Bride Of Christ

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Sometimes little things can ruin our day. Little things like the way our morning goes before we even get out the door to get our day started. Maybe we lost our keys, our favorite book, car didn’t start, there are so many things that could go wrong. Maybe it was something someone said. Some things are bigger things than others, but some things that totally upset us are little things. Here’s a secret, even big things are also little things when we consider them in the face of God. 2 Corinthians 4:17 says-“For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison”. So what does it mean that our light and momentary afflictions are working for our eternal glory? Well, when we respond by getting angry, maybe yelling a little, cursing a little, or kicking something (all of which I have been guilty of…

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Just Relax

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“Just relax”, is the advice that a few close friends have been saying to me.  How true it is that while we are trying to figure out the solutions to our many problems, that relaxing is really the solution that we seek.  We all really just want to rest, yet we think that worrying and rushing will bring us there.  Worry never brings rest.

There are many ways to find relaxation though.  One way to gain the ability to relax is by way of accomplishment.  Sometimes we are stressed because we have something pressing us that we want to accomplish.  This is actually a good anxiety in a way because it can be used to motivate us.  Sometimes I get chores done only because the anxiety that begins to build up and cause me to feel bad if I don’t.  These types of burdens can really weigh us down until we deal with them.  When we understand that the only way to bring relaxation under this kind of stress is through accomplishment, then we can seek to figure out how we can overcome.  When we have accomplishment, then we can have rest.

What about the times when we are unable to reach accomplishment though?  Like, what happens when accomplishing something is beyond our control?  Yet, the burden to overcome lingers there and we try to press forward, yet we just don’t have the resources?  What then?  Many of us encounter such barriers that prevent us from reaching that place of relaxation and rest that we seek.  These burdens seem to bring about shame, dishonor, and fear.  Sometimes it can lead to anger, frustration, and impatience.  Humility, trust, and patience are what the burdens are meant for.  Just as God saw that humans could accomplish anything when they worked together as they built the tower of Babel, and he stretched out his mighty hand and frustrated their plans, sometimes he frustrates our plans.  The reason being that the trials and testings of the life force us to slow down, otherwise we might spend all of our time and energy building something that really is futile after its all said and down.  The Tower of Babel was meant to reach heaven, however all that would had happened is that it would have reached high enough to take their breath away, but they would have never reached heaven no matter how hard they tried.  Sometimes it is what we are reaching for that will defeat God’s given purpose for our lives.  Maybe it is a God given purpose we are striving for, but God allows us to be slow downed so that we can develop some character as we wait.  “It is in the waiting”, God says.  It is in the waiting that we get strong and gain necessary perspective.

“You just need to relax”, they say.  I have been told this multiple times, yet I keep forgetting and continue to need to be reminded of it again because I keep getting ahead of God.  I was given a prophesy years ago by the pastor’s wife, who told me that God would grow me up fast, but to not get ahead of him.  Since she had told me this, I have always ran ahead of him.  I hate waiting.  Yet, running ahead is like racing to get to a red light or stop sign.  That stop sign comes whether we expect it or not, whether we like it or accept it, it comes.  Racing to come to a stop sign won’t change the pace of our distance, rather it just influences our restfulness.  Racing to get anything done is not restful.  We must run our race with endurance and assurance that as we do what God has asked us to do, God will bring us to the finish line, that this is not a race of quickness, but it is a race that needs to be finished.

Waiting on God is an art that leads to resting.  When we race ahead at high speed, it is because we are afraid we wont finish.  When we wait on God, and enter into his rest by not worrying about what we don’t know, and not focus on the finish line so much that we get frustrated and fixated on the reward more than the creator, then we slow down to the speed that will ensure that we will finish.  We rest because we have faith and believe that God is in charge and his plans are the best for us.  God, thank you for always being patient and reminding us of your truth, and your willingness to repeat yourself over and over again.  When we believe and obey, we enter his rest.

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How Do I Know When I’m Ready?

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I’ve been wondering why I haven’t been able to successfully date someone?  I mean I recently had a boyfriend who was far away, we never met in person, but when it comes to dating men nearby I have anxiety.  Honestly, I have had anxiety anyways which also made it hard for me to enjoy my long distance relationship.  I realize that I have just not been really ready.  I know that God will make all things clear, and that he knows this is a topic that concerns me and he cares.  Sometimes it is the seeking that gives us the answers we need.  Only if we know the questions we seek.  I know that God will cause all things to work out for my good.  How do I know when its time?  I think that I will know it is right when I am not trying to force it.  I think I will know it is right when I am not trying to compromise.  I think that the reason I can wait, even though I hate waiting, is because I do not need a partner, though God may bless me with one.  I need only one, and that is God.  Two are better than one, but two is not mandatory, and should not replace our relationship with God.  God has made it clear to me that he makes me sufficient for my girls who don’t have their dad.  His love for me is also sweeter than that of any man.  When we have God, then we have all that we need.  I need to complete God’s project that he gave me.  I trust him to provide for all of my needs.  It is in the waiting he has shown me.  Maybe it is when I am certain that I am enough that I will be ready.  I don’t know if my self-concept will ever change, but God knows what I need.  He knows when I’m ready.  Lord, please lead me and enlighten the eyes of my understanding.  Amen.

That Feeling-Exposing Oppressions

Blog I wrote when Learning how to discern the Spirits, revising

Bride Of Christ

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There is another side of being a prophet that I don’t like and wish I could understand more. That feeling I sometimes get. I wouldn’t call it anxiety because I understand the feeling and definition of anxiety very well. It’s that feeling. Its a sense of the negative side of the supernatural. There are many positive feelings one will get when in touch with the supernatural such as feeling God, hearing God, seeing God or at least perceiving him. There is no greater feeling in the world then when we are in his presence. No, this is a different feeling altogether. One that has led me to have anxiety but not this time because I have been set free from oppression. That is what this is. Oppression wants in. It used to be in, but now it only lurks through the window. It won’t get in but its very presence…

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His will vs Appearance of Righteousness- A Vision

updating old blogs, yet they are relevant today

Bride Of Christ

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I had a vision that led me to understanding. There is an appearance of Righteousness that is not of God. Such people would be dressed to the part. They will appear to be good guys. They will appear to uphold the law. In this vision I saw myself being taken into a house with my kids and my captor was a very large strong man, but he was looking behind him and looking over his shoulder. I was confused for a moment because he seemed to be kidnapping me but upon further inspection he was protecting us. He looked outside at the sky and there were helicopters looking for me and he was disturbed and closed the door when he turned so i could see his face he was getting larger and he had fire behind his eyes and was opening his mouth to roar.. this was a vision that…

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These Burdens Are Too Much

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It is true that our burdens are too much.  We were created to have and enjoy our lives, and our curse was to have to work for it.  We were created to have our every need provided for.  Rams have indwelt abilities to withstand headbutts, but we do not have an indwelt ability to carry our own burdens.  These burdens are too much.  When we think about what our burdens cost us, why not cast our cares on Jesus, who died for us?  He said, “come to me all you who are burdened and heavy laden, and I will give you rest, cast your cares upon me, because I care for you”.  Part of the curse of death is having to carry our burdens alone.  These burdens are too much.  When we turn to God with our cares, he is able to give us rest for our tired bones.  Thank you Lord for relieving my cares and for taking care of everything that concerns me.  Please remind us all that you are near, not far away.  Remind us that we are not meant to carry our burdens alone, but that we can cast those cares upon you and that as we do you keep us safe.  Help us have rest.  Amen

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