You have told me this week that the reason my plan failed is because I didnt listen to you in the first place, and rather than relying on you I was afraid and relied on man. No more by your grace. You keep moving me to place all my cares in your hands, and also to make you my portion and my source . Thank you holy God. Please help my book and my writings bring you glory and touch lives as you can use it the best. Your word is so rich with life that it only takes a small drop to infect and save a life. By the leading of your spirit I really just wanted to honor and praise you. You are the best lover, you care about souls. You also work to ensure that every soul is redeemed dear Savior and God allows you to create every story into a timeless, endless story. I am blessed beyond measure because im redeemed. 💖I love you Lord. Thank you for being you. Be blessed today. Amen.
My lesson this week is to not worry. The Lord showed it to me as a command and I posted it in a lesson, presenting it as sin. Many said they never thought about it that way, a couple people disagreed.. one lady very adamantly. I asked her how she can not think it is a sin when it is commanded for us not to worry. If we as humans considered worry to be punishable, then we might take this command more seriously. She pointed out that sin is violating the 10 commandments, but if you think about it.. worrying violates the greatest commandment, and that is that we should love the Lord our God first and with all of our strength. Jesus teaches us that if we truly love God, then we will keep his commandments.
Loving God means that we celebrate who he is, and when we really believe in him, then we trust him. It is very hurtful when the person who says they love you cannot trust you. How would you feel if someone says they love you in one breath , yet in the next breath they ask us to prove we are trust worthy.. my next question to that person is.. “you say you love you.. but you question my integrity.. so how can you mean it when you say you love me.. if you don’t realize who I really am?”. When asked what to call him, God replied “I am that I am”.
In essence , loving God means that we love what makes him who he is. Who is he? He is perfect love, he is able, he is faithful, he is omnipresent and omnipotent. So say we don’t trust him means we don’t know who he is.. and if we don’t really understand him, how then can we really mean it if we say we love him.
When we say that we love him, then that means we love what is right, because he is righteous. If we say we love him, then we also mean that we love the truth. So if we say we love him, but then treat his truth as if it is a lie, then we lie when we say we love him and the truth is not in us. This just means that we are deceived. We seem to think that believing in God, or even having respect for God.. means that we love God. But we don’t even know or understand who he is so we don’t really know what we are saying.. until we start obeying his commands. This is so helpful to me. This week ive found grace to really give up a couple things .. including worry. If I worry when im told directly not to.. then it is sin. If i partake in active worry instead of reminding my mind what scripture says, and that my God is able, faithful or that he cares about me.. then i am disbelieving.. and disbelief is sin. Even if one still refuses to call worry and disbelief sin, then we could call it a gateway sin.. disbelief in him and his word leads to sin of every kind. Eve trespassed the and ate forbidden fruit because she allowed herself to disbelieve what God said.. that eating that fruit would lead to permanent death.
If God tells us not to worry about our lives, then he tells us this for a reason. Lord, help us all believe without a shadow of doubt, obey, and enter heavenly rest 💖
A little more than a year ago i experienced a traumatic heart break in which an ex fiance betrayed me and it was a major shock. He was my last hope at a surviving relationship . We both had come from heart breaks and broken pasts and we used to tell eachother that if we didn’t last, neither of us had it in us to try to have a relationship again. We were both that damaged and broken . He looked me in the eyes and told me how wonderful I was and how dumb the men before me were and promised never to hurt me. For the first time in my life I began to relax and feel like everything would be alright , and then he betrayed me.
This ended up being the best thing that happened in my life. This was the point of surrender for me. Up until this point I had loved the Lord but I had not submitted to him in the area of my love life, and when we don’t submit in one area we end up not submitting in many areas .
The Lord Jesus came to me in spirit one morning when I was heart broke, and put his arm around my shoulders, comforting me. He reminded me of the woman at the well who had had many husbands and also lived with a current man who she wasnt married to, and then they had a conversation about living water verses the water that the world gave. It wasn’t a coincidence that this woman was in her 5th relationship and Jesus told her that those who drink from the water the world gives would thirst again… this was my life. Because i was drinking world water and not the living water I kept having failed relationships . I was the woman at the well. I made a decision that day that from then on I would truly surrender my life to him, especially my relationships. I had tasted the water the world gave me and i kept thirsting. They all failed me, they all hurt me, betrayed me, lied to me, didn’t give me what i longed and craved for.. perfect love .
After I had rededicated my life to the Lord, I knew I would need strength because men had always been my idol next to God.. So i joined a Christian singles site (better than a dating site) so that i could find motivation and strength from other Christians who also sought to be single like me.. or so I thought .. anyways I met many friends and this changed my life…
At first I was prepared to be single for the rest of my days, but the Lord told me he was bringing me a husband because he felt I needed one. I told him that only in him would I ever be able trust again.. I’ve had hope to trust again, but I knew that this was impossible without God..
Today I now see differently by his grace . By his grace I’ve learned that in my years of being hurt Ive built walls, these structures in my mind come now as automatic thoughts… no one can be trusted they say, when the men say the right things my mind says “they all say the right things”, when the men appear right, my mind says “yeah but the devil is a skilled liar and pretender” the men say.. “but im not your ex” but my mind says, “yeah yeah yeah I’ve heard this before ” the men say, “you want someone perfect” and my mind says, “yes i have him, his name is Jesus and you are not it”… the men say, “you need to get over it, move on” my mind says..”i cannot force that you don’t understand “.. the man says, “i cannot be with someone who doubts me” my mind says, “then you are with the wrong person i am unable to trust anyone”.
I’ve struggled with this because how can one have the need and urge to be with someone, yet be hopeless at the same time? “You need counseling Jenifer ” my friend says, my mind says, “years of therapy cannot fix me, because I am unfixable.”
I desperately want to feel safe, not be afraid , but i can’t. The walls my mind have built had become a prison and not a safe haven. But God….
You see something my friends via the holy spirit have been saying to me lately is.. you cannot have faith and doubt at the same time, you cannot have certainty and fear at the same time… the break through came when i understood that I had to make a Choice. Either I believe God or I don’t . My friend said, “are you going to believe God that he will keep you safe and deliver you?”.. the key is to not be anxious but to run to God for everything, and… if he says something, I don’t allow contrary feelings and thoughts to deture me. I also discovered that there is a strong contrary voice with me so i stand against Satan by not only rebuking him… because I got a revelation today that after i was mistreated by one of my exes id had this controlling, unclean spirit with me so i rebuked that by his grace. Now I have a different belief. A year ago I said “I cannot trust anyone “, now I can say sincerely that ,”there are plenty of trustworthy men who are faithful and genuine. There are men who truly love God and who would genuinely love me and treat me well”.. i had been raped by Satan.. mind raped mostly .. and now he is being treaded upon under my feet. I believe in the spiritual aspect of freedom from demonic influence that begins with rebuking the devourer, but that is only part of healing . That is pulling out the root of evil. But healing continues as we become reformed in our thinking .. now i see that these automatic thoughts that have been walls forming a prison i couldnt break free from were first built to protect me. With Satan out of the picture we can begin healing, now with God’s grace I seek to be healed of every painful belief.. it also includes reliving painful memories and seeing Jesus with me this time
..all that was done to me was done by Satan and was a weapon meant to destroy me.. but God will restore all that he took from me. Amen.
Up until now i have been rooted and grounded in fear. Fearing the things that be not as though they were. When one is tossed too and fro by the waves of doubt and fear, they eventually have a decision to make. Will i believe what God told me or my feelings? God doesnt change his mind.
As I pray about the same things that concern me I am reminded that those things I care so much about are not so significant to God like they are to me. He knows they are important to me but instead I am listening to what he is saying to me. What God has to say is what really matters. What matters the most to him is righteousness. However there are so many facets to righteousness. One part of righteousness is doing what is right. We should always seek to treat people fairly. However righteousness doesn’t just end there. There is a way that appears right, but the end result is not right because what is right originates within the soul of a man or woman. Righteousness is credited to us. I’ve experienced this time and time again with God that he will take our deeds that we don’t call good and make them pure and white as snow. The word says that God justifies us. When we come to him with our all, he takes what we have to give and makes it sufficient. The example of the handful of fish and bread is an example of which he used to feed the 5000. Everything in the bible relates and everything that is spiritual has so many facets. Like Sara having a baby for abraham in her old age is an example of how much God will bless us in the little acts of faith. Sara laughed but Abraham believed and eventually God’s will took place in his time frame. Truth is that the Christian is no better then a sinner in our acts of rightness except that God makes our acts right. It is God who justifies, he calls it just so it becomes just. He calls us clean so we become clean. It is all done by the will and hand of God. Just as the world was created because God said it. Who is he that he justifies? It is the one who loves him. This is not obedience that im referring to although obedience has a part in showing God we love him, but we can’t even obey him unless he gives us the grace. This is why in every christian mind we need to settle that it is not out righteouness that God longs for, how can this be so when he himself makes us righteous? Rather, it is the willing, the man who cares enough to acknowledge God, to know him and call upon his name. Those who God chooses he calls them, then he justifies them, then he sanctifies and glorifies. But this is all done by faith. It is what we believe that directs our lives.
What do I believe right now? I believe that my heart is pure like gold and those who love me in truth will blessed. Those who misuse me, abuse me, hurt me, and reject me will be punished. God made me to be a weak thing in a proud world like a little lamb waiting for the slaughter. Who will be my friends? It is a test of faith to those who come into my circle. What will be their fate? I am his.
I also know that what is important, what truly matters in my life right now as i press in is to know how he feels about me. To know i am loved, to understand my worth. When we get this.. to know him and to be known by him.. who do we fear, what do we fear? We can see every matter in the eyes of God’s love. It is from the inside out that God always makes his will come to pass. Things that are not as though they were .. not because they are not.. they just havent matured yet. So now I am convinced that everything that happens in my life is under God’s control. Who chooses to love me in truth and care for me will be blessed. Those who fail that test .. God will deal with as he plans. My God is with me in the midst of everything I am not alone. Frankly it does not matter of others agree or approve. That’s always been the way it is. God make your will known and your will be done and I praise you for your love is faithful and true. Amen.
If God Was there what would he say? He is there and he does care. He has much to say. If you listen what do you hear? The cares of the world drown out his voice. If you got still and strained to hear, would you hear something?
When we cannot seem to hear him, one way to hear him again is to get connected with his grace. It is there, we just must connect. It is like a wave of spirit, a current that we must tap into.. so that we are drifting the same way. We connect to the last place we found him. If you are walking in nature and want to find the river you have played in before then how do you jump in? First you have to walk to the location it is.. which we do by memory.. we look for land marks. We see a familiar twig and near by group of trees… then we know we have found it. God always remains the same, we just get distracted in spirit and focus on the cares of the world, our problems, events, relationships, needs… that same river you played in is still there.. you just got out and traveled on a different path for a while. What was the last thing you recall God said to you? The last lesson you heard? The last chapter in the “good book” you left off at.. just go back to that.. follow the familiar land marks, start with what you recall. If that doesnt work then stop and ask for directions. You can do this by prayer, talking to a trusted friend, asking a mentor to help you find your way…
I’m in a process right now of grieving because God is having a “coming to Jesus” meeting with me, so to speak. I have realized that my focus on men is idolatry for me, and is simply a distraction that makes me have sorrow. I have been so afraid he’s leading me to be single, while at the same time wishing I had the grace of a eunuch, not having the need to be with a man. Now I’ve come to a cross roads that I am called to focus all my attention back to him, and to not do so is straight up disobedience. So I grieve because of recent perceptions and doubts about a man I love and feeling rejected. The Lord reminds me every time that I am hurting because I am tangling myself with man flesh (not literally just yet), and setting my heart on man who is imperfect, when in all honesty it is perfect love that I truly need not only now, but maybe for the rest of my life. I have anguish when I consider my desire to be with a man, yet am not sure how I would ever be content with anything less than the best which I doubt I’d ever have with a human. I have my will, my understanding which at times feels so limiting, and then I have God’s will that I do not know. I do know this however, I want what his will is more than I want my own will. So now for the sake of knowing that “father knows best” I am yielding to his will which is to focus on him right now. Put him first right now. Make him my love right now. I am not going to lie, it is a struggle. I am still thinking about the man I care about, still going through the hurt I feel from doubt, still hopeful it can work out, the grief of dying to my will completely not knowing if I’ll ever know a man again as I do so which has been a solid idol in my life for years, and just down about these things, then coming back to hearing God in the back ground in spirit dropping scripture after scripture in my heart saying, “today is the day that the lord has made, rejoice and be glad in it”, “all good things come from above from the father of heavenly lights”, “praise God for all the things his hands have made”, “there is nothing in all creation that can separate you from my love”, “he works all these light and momentary afflictions for my good”, “faith comes by hearing, hearing by the word of God”… and there is a spiritual presence rejoicing and leading me to rejoice all the while my soul is in grief because I am dying to my will.. but wait, there’s more voices, “I have been crucified with Christ, nevertheless I live, yet not I but the life I live i Live by faith in the son of God who loved me and gave himself for me”, “how much more will you submit to the father of lights and live”, “it is the perfecting of your faith that is at work here”, “patient endurance, patient endurance”. Here is what faith is about, it is about believing what the word says enough to die for it and act upon it. It does not feel good… at first. This is why it is called dying, however the glory of being rooted and established in love and on his word is that there is so much promise, and we know that we don’t truly find life until we have given up our life saying, “not my will by thy will be done”. Oh how glorious is the inheritance of the saints. No eye has seen or ear heard what God has in store for those who love him. Ok ok Lord, if you tell me to rejoice, then I better receive that command and start rejoicing, by faith, pressing in, finding a reason. Because you know the plans you have for my life, plans to prosper me and not harm me, to give me a hope and a future.. Jeremiah 29:11 my verse for this month. Surely we have a delightful inheritance.
So, now that I’ve gotten all that under my belt and dealt with, there is peace. Now that my only work is to focus on is the assignment the Lord has given me. Now that the only one who I am giving my heart to is Jesus, I have found the one and perfect thing. No greater love has man than this, that a man would lay down his life for his friend. Jesus believed in God’s will enough that he willingly gave up his life, so that by him loving his life, because he loved me so much, I might now be able to enjoy a life lived through him completing God’s will. Jesus is my heart focus and his love is perfect. He is always right. He is always genuine, patient, loyal, loving, true, and when he tells me I need to listen, it is because he genuinely loves my soul. There is so much comfort when the king of the heavenly realms gives you an assignment and a new hope to live a life worthy of that call is my biggest sacrifice. I have grand things to look forward to and there is a word for every season so I have a lamp for my feet at all times to light the correct path and there is thrill in mystery. When my heart is set on him, the author and finisher of my faith, the pain dissipates, the storm calms and I am very comforted. Thank you Jesus.
The word Knew here is related to a person who walks in the light compared to a person walking in the darkness. The difference between a person who walks in the light verses the darkness is a person who is open, forthcoming and true. You see, when we are not forthcoming with our answers to ourselves and to God then we become one who is deceived. The word describes a light that is shining in the darkness. A light is illuminating, it exposes all the things that are hidden by a cover of darkness. When the light is turned on, then we can see what is really in the room. When we can see what is in the room then we can see clearly whether the objects are clean or something useful, or old rubbish that needs to be thrown away. We can find our belongings, our clothing, the tools that we need to function and live in life. It would be impossible to clean our room of impurities if you cannot see the true cleanliness of an object in the darkness. You could try to cleanse it in the water by touch, and rub it with your hands or a towel and then think it is clean, until you turn on the light and discover that it is not. The Lord says to you, “look, I know that you have dirty objects in your room, I’m not here to judge but rather to cleanse your room, however I am unable to help you become clean unless you allow me to turn on a light”. Because of our shame we try to hide our dirty objects in the dark, but to make ourselves feel clean we might go into a corner of the room and rub an object with a hand towel and call it good, so that we can ease our conscience and so that the father of lights, who is God the creator who is clean and pure won’t be able to see just how dirty the object is. The deceptive cleansing can be likened to one who says a quick prayer at bedtime or reads a chapter out of the bible every now and then so that they can feel holy, however they never truly become clean because, they refuse to turn on the light so that they themselves can properly face the dirt in their home and deal with it, although the bible says that we cannot cleanse ourselves sufficiently. It is not our responsibility to cleanse ourselves because God said that he would do that for us, all that he asks is that we turn on the lights so that both you and him can see the needs properly, and then he himself will cleanse your dirty home. The dirty home I am referring to is the room in your heart where old habits, mistakes, ugly behaviors and secrets reside. If we say that we don’t have dirt in our hearts, if we say that we don’t have sin, then we lie and there is no light in us. We must choose to open the door and turn on the light, exposing the contents to God and confess that we have a problem if we are ever to have fellowship with him, because he is light, and in him there is no darkness. This light is likened to the pureness as far as motives and true righteousness is concerned. When we remain in the dark, we do not reside with God. If we ever want to walk with God and enter into his kingdom of light, we must first step into the light and abandon the lies. You see, a person who says that they know God, while never turning on the light, despite how many scriptures that they can recite or how well they can teach a bible lesson or the miracles they might be able to perform, the Lord will address their claim to be his disciple on judgement day and say to him, “depart from me, I never knew you”, because that deceived man or woman thought that their vain attempts at cleansing themselves while never exposing the contents of their room to God who only dwells in the light, the Lord will be accurate to say that he never knew him because he dwelled in darkness, and not in the light so the Lord never saw him he was hidden from his sight. Make no mistake, if you are to be saved, you must be real about everything before the father of lights.
1 John 1:5-10
5 This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. 6 If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. 8 If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.
We will say to him, “but I prophesied in your name, I cast demons out in your name”, but here’s a deeper look at this let us get this:
We have a front that we are presenting to him, how we want to be seen by him, but that is not who we really are on the inside, and when he looks at you he wants to see the inside, and because you won’t allow him to see the whole truth, then the “you” you hope he’ll see is not who you truly are and he will not ever truly know you. Do you get it?
Selah, let us think about this