Jesus said that he gives us peace, not as the world gives does he give. I find this peace goes beyond understanding. That is the difference about this peace, we have it yet we don’t understand it. Right now I rest from trying to figure out life on my own. This peace doesn’t require that I figure out the past, the future, the how’s. What I do know is that it is all in his hands, the prince of peace and that even when fear comes knocking I don’t have to listen because he is greater than the voice of the world and he has overcome it. I only need to follow his voice and trust in the prince of peace. Hallelujah
Isaiah 51:3 KJV “For the Lord shall comfort Zion: he will comfort all her waste places; and he will make her wilderness like Eden, and her desert like the garden of the Lord; joy and gladness shall be found therein, thanksgiving, and the voice of melody”
I want to start with a praise to our God. Dear Lord, thank you for being you. While my flesh is hungry and thirsty for satisfaction, you have made it known to me that you will satisfy me while I wait for your promised land. As a matter of fact, you are helping me have the faith that it is in the desert where you will establish me. Who says I have to have a specific thing that my flesh sets its heart on, when you made the wind and the sea and you can certainly make my desert place like the garden of Eden? My flesh is craving but my soul is demanding to put you first, and here I am Lord, doing the best that I can to serve you with all of my strength. You have assured me that all the efforts that we make in faith, no matter how minute, will reap a harvest of righteousness. You have told me so many times and still I come to you and seek and still you remind me repeatedly that it is in the waiting. My garden is in the wilderness, because you can. Whether I turn to the right or to the left you promise to speak to me from behind and tell me which way to go that I may walk in it. As I seek you in my ways so that my path will be made straight you have strengthened me. You have brought up stuff that I didn’t even know was present in my beliefs and ways and you certainly are faithful in making my path straight. Though these lessons are painful, meaning that my flesh is always being disappointed, my inner voice that sticks up for me gets louder and stronger, and this little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine. My flesh is still hungry. But if it wasn’t for my hunger demanding to be quenched I wouldn’t be seeking you so fervently, so this is my thorn in the flesh. Yet it isn’t a demon spawn so much as it is a driving force that brings me to you over and over again. That is love God. You use our human needs to lead us on paths that will lead to ever lasting glory and the whole time we didn’t know that was the plan. I hate the growing process, I want to be complete right this moment. It would be wonderful if I could grow more patiently and gracefully. I am so hungry and thirsty and I still don’t even understand what it will take to quench it. I do appreciate the lessons.
You, Oh Lord, Are a shield about me. You are the lifter of my head. I love you. Flesh and this earth have disjointed me. I have sought satisfaction in the land but only you satisfy. It is not your will that I have suffering yet it is the natural order of this world. This world lacks you and I need you to live. I need you to have peace. I need you to filtrate every impurity from my soul and my brain. You rescue me. You will establish me. You are my rock and my fortress and in you is all my hope. Please perform your will in my life and soul. Help me to love like you do and be a light for you. Keep me from trespassing against you please show me how to be clean. You are my deliverer. Thank you for restoring me.
I know I already made a blog with this title, yet I feel the need to blog about it some more. So many things would devour us if we were not covered by the Lord. Psalm 91 is on my heart at this time, especially the first verse:
“He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty” KJV
When anyone runs to him in earnest, he shelters them and keeps them safe. Not only does this apply to the pestilences like diseases, viruses, fears, and the arrows that fly by day, or the predators that lurk at night, all discussed further in the chapter, but it is also a safety defense against our own failings. This is my biggest need and maybe that of others. It can be so easy to believe God and trust in him, but it is myself I don’t trust. It is my own understanding that I don’t trust, and the choices that I make that makes me tremble in fears. One day I had a vision as I prayed of angels hovering over me and raising their wings to surround and cover me, and I saw myself try to climb up out of their protection, yet I couldn’t and then I rested. This is something that reassured me of how much I am covered by the Lord’s protections. I was an enemy to myself, always ignorantly climbing out of it, not even by my own choice, but because of my need for self preservation, but the truth is that we cannot preserve ourselves. Sometimes when we sit in our bungalow with our little army knives and our booby traps (my analogy), we have a sense of security, but the truth is that we are not really secure unless the Lord makes us secure and when we run to him, he covers us with his mighty feathers and there we are safe, even without our own defenses in place. Amen
I often don’t even know what I’m going to say when I open a new blog. This is the title that keeps coming to my heart, yet I don’t know what to say. He makes all things work for my good. This means that all the little things that we feel ashamed about desiring or maybe it is a personal struggle that really weighs us down, are allowed to be there for God’s purposes. We don’t have to think that we are alone or fear abandonment by God for having these “light and momentary afflictions” because he is the Alpha and Omega, which means that he is ultimately in control of the happenings of our souls and we are not alone. Don’t think that what you go through is so unusual, as a matter of fact it is a common occurrence to many believers, yet many are not at liberty to discuss it. That is also the wonderful thing about shedding light in the darkness, because when the light exposes the darkness, it leaves. It loses its power. When we hide issues and truths that we would rather not be brought to the light, then instead of going away, they grow into a big ugly monster. When the light illuminates what is in the dark, then it becomes small and powerless, and thousands of demons go to flight. Demons cannot stand the light. Their powers are in their lies. As long as we allow them to stay in the shadows then they will pull us down into the their depths of despair. Despair is not of God and cannot continue when in the light. Bring the truth to the light. Amen.
just updating some blogs
Sometimes little things can ruin our day. Little things like the way our morning goes before we even get out the door to get our day started. Maybe we lost our keys, our favorite book, car didn’t start, there are so many things that could go wrong. Maybe it was something someone said. Some things are bigger things than others, but some things that totally upset us are little things. Here’s a secret, even big things are also little things when we consider them in the face of God. 2 Corinthians 4:17 says-“For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison”. So what does it mean that our light and momentary afflictions are working for our eternal glory? Well, when we respond by getting angry, maybe yelling a little, cursing a little, or kicking something (all of which I have been guilty of…
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Blog I wrote when Learning how to discern the Spirits, revising
There is another side of being a prophet that I don’t like and wish I could understand more. That feeling I sometimes get. I wouldn’t call it anxiety because I understand the feeling and definition of anxiety very well. It’s that feeling. Its a sense of the negative side of the supernatural. There are many positive feelings one will get when in touch with the supernatural such as feeling God, hearing God, seeing God or at least perceiving him. There is no greater feeling in the world then when we are in his presence. No, this is a different feeling altogether. One that has led me to have anxiety but not this time because I have been set free from oppression. That is what this is. Oppression wants in. It used to be in, but now it only lurks through the window. It won’t get in but its very presence…
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updating old blogs, yet they are relevant today
I had a vision that led me to understanding. There is an appearance of Righteousness that is not of God. Such people would be dressed to the part. They will appear to be good guys. They will appear to uphold the law. In this vision I saw myself being taken into a house with my kids and my captor was a very large strong man, but he was looking behind him and looking over his shoulder. I was confused for a moment because he seemed to be kidnapping me but upon further inspection he was protecting us. He looked outside at the sky and there were helicopters looking for me and he was disturbed and closed the door when he turned so i could see his face he was getting larger and he had fire behind his eyes and was opening his mouth to roar.. this was a vision that…
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The word Knew here is related to a person who walks in the light compared to a person walking in the darkness. The difference between a person who walks in the light verses the darkness is a person who is open, forthcoming and true. You see, when we are not forthcoming with our answers to ourselves and to God then we become one who is deceived. The word describes a light that is shining in the darkness. A light is illuminating, it exposes all the things that are hidden by a cover of darkness. When the light is turned on, then we can see what is really in the room. When we can see what is in the room then we can see clearly whether the objects are clean or something useful, or old rubbish that needs to be thrown away. We can find our belongings, our clothing, the tools…
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I am free to be the person I want to be. No one else is here to tell me how to live my life, so I am free to be me. I am free to serve God and to die for him. I am free to be the mom I want to be. I am free to organize my life, or be as chaotic as I choose to be. I am free to seek first his kingdom and his righteousness in my life, and there is nothing to hinder or stop me. Who can I blame for a lack of discipline? I am free to live my life how I choose to. I am free to work for whom I want to. I am free to go to the church I want to and go as often as I like or not at all. I am free to spend the money I make how I want to and to be as poor as I want to. Who is here to tell me who I can choose to please or ignore? I am free. I am free because my life is my own, but I am not on my own, I am not alone, because God is right beside me, leading, directing and guiding me into who he created me to be, because I am free to lay down my life and seek not my will but his will so that the life I live will not be my choosing but his. I am free.
Every time I get my eyes on a man my heart gets hurt. Why? Because I need healing. I need to be engulfed in a shadow of perfect love right now. I need to be embraced and seen as I am and to be loved, understood, and accepted. I am already wounded from past betrayal, hurt, and rejection. I have a history of being lied to, let down, and mistreated. The worst part is that I have not been loving or kind to myself. I don’t even accept myself and I often forget that this is what I’m feeling. I do not like who I am, why? Well, I do like who I am, but there is a voice of mine I hear in my head that rejects myself. This needs to be dealt with. So there is no place in my mind for being with a man who in anyway tells me I’m not good enough and who is only interested in self gain. I have no business seeking approval from a man when I need to love myself and be loved. I have no business listening to the negative voice. Correction is appropriate, but because my heart is already fragile it needs to come from a person who truly cares about me and knows how to be gentle and kind. The words “value” and worth keep playing over and over in my mind so apparently this plays a role. I am valuable so why would I waste my time trying to feel valued? If someone doesn’t value you then they are a hindrance to us and toxic. In other words if someone does not value us and see our worth, without us having to prove it or show it, then we are busy trying to earn something that we need to be already validating. I am worthy, I am fragile, I am tender, I am bruised, I am new. I have new skin that needs to be treated with care and nourished. “I have loved you with an ever lasting love” says the Lord, and he keeps showing me that every time I love a man I will be hurt. The reason for this is because only one knows my heart, I do not have to prove myself to God, he already understands my worth as he himself created me in my mothers womb he celebrates me already. Man does not and will never know my mind, only God does. We all seek to be understood and don’t want to be intimidated. Done. God understands you. God is always kind and gentle with you. I do not need to be spending my time with someone who cannot read my mind, see my heart, or not truly love me. That just wounds my already broken heart, because what I need only God can give me. Now that it is just me and the Lord, I am free to love him and serve him alone.