The Eye of the Storm

stormcloud

The life of a Christian who wants to be close to God can be like a major storm.  Everyday for a long time my life felt like a storm.  First the storm was a a result of bad choices I had made, but then I decided to surrender my life to Jesus Christ.  I had given my heart to him already, but this time I made a real commitment that no matter the cost I would follow Christ.

The storm for a Christian who is struggling against the pull of the world, and turning to God to walk the straight and narrow is a bumpy one.  There is the temptation to follow old patterns, and when there is no longer old patterns to deal with new ones arise.  We are striving to be in our rightful place in the Kingdom of light, yet the darkness is still clouding our eyes and fogging our feelings and our thoughts.

New idols call to us to be focused on and worshiped.  Things in our life goes wrong, for me it was a vehicle, a water pump, a home, slander, rejection, loneliness, fear, doubts and more.  Probably the hardest hardship I’ve endured is overcoming myself.  Letting go of old thinking patterns and belief systems.

There is certainly resistance when we first start walking with the Lord.  There will always be resistance.  It gets easier when we learn how to dwell in the eye of the storm.  This isn’t about being a better person, or by sheer will power.  This is about being in-step with the creator.  Hiding under his wings, embracing him as a Father, and letting him be in charge.  It isn’t until I started listening to his voice, and dying to my own will because I believed he had so much more in store that I started moving about life in the eye of the storm.

The storm still rages but greater is he who is in me.  We can look at the odds, fix our eyes on impossible outcomes, on unmet perceived needs and wants.  We can focus on failures within ourselves or blame our problems on others, or we can turn and look at God and tune out everything else that swirls around us, about us, breaking our house windows, blowing out the doors.

When we focus our sight on what is wrong with life, then we are navigating life in the storm, dodging debris.  Fighting the fights that were not ours.  As long as we keep looking to physical evidence and expectations, only feeling frustrated, we will remain in the storm.  It won’t stop.  Even if you overcome this one obstacle, then bam there’s another.  You dodge the metal pipe blowing by your head only to side step and be knocked over by the door.

I am grateful now that God allowed me to be in the storm long enough to get the hint that the storm just does not stop, unless God stops it.  I had to learn how to simply step into the eye of the storm.  Walk by faith, not by sight.

The eye of the storm is where God is, and it is always calm there.  It is always safe.  It is always sunny, except when it is time to close my eyes and rest, but even in the dark there the peace keeps in my heart.  His mercies are knew every day.  He has died for me unconditionally and as long as I still have breath I can repent, over and over again.  He is faithful, his love is enduring, he is slow to anger and to find fault.  His love is genuine and true.  He is always in control.  God, through Jesus, is the eye of the storm.

eyeofstorm

Demonic Whispers

anxiousthoughts

Most people who don’t know the truth believe that our mental disorders are medical diseases.  Science has proven that there are certain brain chemistry changes in people with diverse mental diseases.  This helps aid the development of medication to help stabilize the nerve synapses and the hormone levels.  Being a medical professional myself, I advocate taking medication to help treat all of our illnesses.

Yet, as a Holy Spirit filled Christian who has been taught a lot about the unseen realm of the supernatural, which is confirmed by the Holy Bible, I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that science will never trump God’s truth.  As a matter of fact, science only evolves to finally conclude the ultimate truth, which is the Holy word of God.

According to the word of God which yes was written over a thousand years ago, inspired by the Holy Spirit, we are taught that the earth that we see, is built on the word of God.  The earth manifests God’s truth, it will never dispel it.  And in the areas where it has not yet evolved, it is temporarily ignorant.  One truth that I have found to prove that is the development of CBT or cognitive behavioral therapy which is probably the most effective behavioral modification program that teaches us to learn how to change our behaviors by first changing our thoughts, all the while it has been written in the ancient Holy Bible that we are to place our thoughts on things above.

As we dig into the bible and are enlightened through the power of the Holy Spirit (by the way, if you have never been saved you will not likely experience this enlightenment, because with salvation comes the Holy Spirit who teaches us the truth by the word of God, you can be a bible scholar and still not know the truth), we learn some valuable lessons about spiritual warfare.  We are told that our battle is not with flesh and blood, but with spiritual powers and wickedness in high places (Ephesians 6:12).  The real truth of the matter is that what we see from a science lab is a physical manifestation of a spiritual transformation.

All those low things that plague us, anxious thoughts, feelings of hopelessness and suicide, feelings of low self-worth, lust, pride.. the list is endless are geared by demonic whispers.  We have believed those whispers, embracing them as our own tainted thoughts.  I believe that taking medication and going to counseling is a worldly way of trying to resolve a spiritual issue.  Whereas, if we deal with the demonic stronghold behind those whispers, the cause of the psychological wound stops.

I had experienced depression with suicidal ideations since childhood.  When I was a young adult I was diagnosed with some mood and anxiety disorders and given medication to take.  The doctor told me that it would only get worse as I aged and that I would likely end up being hospitalized for it.  I would take the medication, stop the medication, take it, stop it.  At one point I accepted that I would always be dependent on psychotropic medications for the rest of my life, and that having major depression would always be my disability in life.  Then God started exposing the truth to me, he brought many anointed prophets into my life to pray for me, and then Satan was exposed and I was delivered from that spiritual bondage.  I can truly say that I am no longer oppressed or depressed.  I just don’t have that problem anymore.  Through God’s intervention, the lie of depression was exposed, the root cause being exposed then with that truth and prayer that issue was resolved.  I’d been healed, hallelujah.  Do I still have bad days?  Sure.  Do I get down sometimes?  Yes.  Though I would never call it depression because it isn’t like that anymore, maybe sad or discouraged.  Those feelings are normal, but depression, major depression, and the like are not.

There is so much more to say on this topic but I’ll conclude this topic for now and pick it back up another day as I’m led.  What thoughts are you experiencing today that have you anxious, confused, discouraged, depressed, hopeless, irritated?  Any that you are aware of?  You think they are really your thoughts, but are they really?

Lord, please expose the enemy and guide us into all the truth so that we can be freed from captivity.  Thank You God.  Amen.

A woman holds a glowing Bible with scary hands in the background.

That Is Hunger….

hunger

 

That lack of satisfaction with something in your life, that is called hunger.  That need to change something about yourself which never goes away even when you justify it, that is hunger.  That lack of peace and happiness you feel, that is hunger.  Hunger is similar to the empty, burning you feel in your stomach pouch when your body runs low on fuel, sometimes hunger is manifested in other areas of your body, such as weakness, tiredness, irritability.  Those who have low blood sugar often feel the pains of hunger and learn to easily identify when they need to eat.  It is common knowledge that those of us who overeat on food, are often try to substitute soul hunger for physical hunger.  We even are so convinced that it is hard to train our brain otherwise, stressful eventual= sudden irresistible urge to raid the fridge or order a cheesy pizza.. or .. fill in the blank.

The bible speaks much about soul hunger, and even tells us the name of it, giving it a label for those of us who like and rely on labels, this label can help us identify what we are actually hungry for.  This label is called, “righteousness”.  Yes, we are deeply hungry for righteousness, to the point that without it we may whither away and die in our souls.  The Lord has helped me become familiar with this new label, and as I seek him when I’m feeling dissatisfied, he is teaching me why.  True, we humans often have emotions or a longing for something and we can’t even identify what the need is.  Some of us who believe we are smart in our rights will often label it ourselves, but we are told that this is foolishness, and to fear God and not rely on our own understanding.  He says, “acknowledge me in all your ways and I will make your paths straight”.  As smart as I think that I am, I have learned that I really know nothing unless the Lord teaches me.  So all that I have is from him.  I know much only because I seek him much as a clueless vessel.  “Lord, please help me know, I don’t have a clue”.  He honors that, he is merciful and expands my understanding a lot.  I cannot brag, it is all from him because I admit I don’t have a clue.  When we humble ourselves before him, he will lift us up.  Humility is simply understanding who the credit truly belongs to, that is all.  Those who believe it is because they are naturally smarter than everyone else, are truly the foolish ones, and those who are the dumb and weak in the world, God will lift them up.  Actually, we are all the same to God, foolish or humble, he exalts all who ask because he gives graciously to all without finding fault (James 1:5).

So, as I was saying, when I ask God, “why am I feel dissatisfied, why do I feel discontent?”  He reminds me of something that I have been struggling with for as long as I can recall, and I think of all the ways I have tried to overcame, only to fail.  How I’ve tried to accept it, how at moments of weakness I make excuses and justify it, making room for the flesh.  The bottom line is, even though my flesh is so entrenched and does not want to  change, but Jesus died so that I can have freedom from that.  That is called  being dead in the flesh.  As long as I live according to the old dead man, I will reap soul death.  Jesus died so that I can overcome and rise above.

If I was content living in that state of old ways and having soul death, then I wouldn’t need a Savior nor would I have hope for something better.  Yet, because I have been saved by grace through faith, I been promised new life, and for this reason I am dissatisfied.  That is called soul hunger.  That has been given a label which Jesus called, “righteousness”.  He said, “blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied (Matthew 5:6).  If you are a Christian, and are feeling dissatisfied, I assure you that you are hungry.  Sure, you believe you are hungry for _______..  fill in the blank but I’m predicting what you think belongs in that blank is a desire you have been longing for, but that is not what you are hungry for.  What you and I and every person hungers for is to be righteous.  The dead hunger for life, those who have never been born again.  They are at risk of never obtaining true life as long as they reject the truth and embrace Satan’s lie that there is no true salvation nor purpose in this life.  They say coping is the way to handle this life, to make the best of it, and then expect to die, the end.  Those who are saved, long for fullness of life.  They long to step out of the chicken coop and soar above the storm, because they are now an eagle though in their old way of believing they still live as if they are a chicken who can only hop, flapping its wings and go so far.  We all are meant to soar.  Soaring is being alive, identifying with life, and this begins with dissatisfaction.  Friends, that dissatisfaction is a gift.  It is called, “hunger and thirst for righteousness”.  Until we meet that need, and rise above our old ways of thinking and believing, then we will never have that need quenched.  There is no substitute for it.  It is time to stop believing that you can’t, or that you don’t want to change, because that is a lie.  Instead, let that hunger motivate you to seek what truly satisfies.

When I understand that this intense hunger is a need to overcome, then I also realize there is more aggression to overcome.  I don’t want to be held back any longer.  I don’t want to be passively accept status quo.  I can’t.  I’m hungry.  When a person truly becomes hungry enough, they cannot ignore it anymore.  At some point they stop waiting for food to fall in their life.  If they have no food in the fridge or no money to buy more, than they will beg or start looking in other people’s dumpsters.  When we have a hunger for righteousness, we can get so hungry that we will do whatever we have to do to be filled.  Thank You Lord Jesus for giving us this hunger.  Surely those who have it and see it for what it is, will finally be satisfied.

Who Am I?

Satan had tried to confuse me from the beginning of my life about my worth through implanting the belief that I was not worthy. Now with the Lord’s wisdom I see these lies and am dispelling them one by one. How can we know we are worthy while feeling unworthy? When your very deepest voice tells you that you are never as good as anyone else, then you might believe you are not ever as good as anyone else, therefore you are not worthy of love, of promotion, of blessings, and you then become desperate for some measure of grace and seek to earn approval or rely on all sorts of ineffective coping strategies to gain that sense of self-worth, but the fight is conquered not from without, but from within us. We observe that small voice telling us we are not good enough, and then we start disregarding it. No, we cannot argue with it, because arguing with it means it has some sort of influence, instead we just ignore the voice deep within that tells us we are not good enough. If God paid the price of letting his only dearly loved son die in anguish and suffer torment for us, then we are worthy of the greatest love, because Jesus died for us and no king on earth will ever be more worthy of a crown or riches or praise then Jesus Christ. So we fight to feel valued, we fight people who do not make us feel valued, we over achieve or underachieve but there is only one thing that we need to win this battle, and it is to know who you are. I am worthy of love, I am worthy of respect, and even if someone does not respect me then it is because of their flaw, not mine because I AM indeed worthy. I personally resort to down grading comparison meaning rather than having the common issue of resorting to boastful comparison, I instead see the good in people and feel bad about myself because in my eyes I see everyone else as worthy but have neglected to see myself as such. Every person has value even if we are not all just alike. I am gentle, I am caring, I am humble, I see the value of everyone. I am blessed. I am reflective, I am kind, I am wise with the insight that God gives me. I am cute, I am shy, I am innocent, I am curvy, I am imperfect yet perfectly imperfect. I don’t know everything but I am smart enough to understand that I do not have to know everything. I am God’s, I am saved, I am adopted into the kingdom of Light, I am a child of God, I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, I am loved. Thank you God for making me someone.

Where Can I Go?

Where can I go that you that you won’t be there? Why do I act as if I have to get your attention when you are already there? I don’t have to attract you, you pursued me before I even knew who you were. What can I do that would separate me from your love? Can anything separate me from your love? My only limitation has been my own lack of understanding, but since you are everywhere, then why do I have to be limited? If I need your help, I only have to ask. You are there. Everywhere I go, you are there. You are near me, you are not far. You know how many hairs I have on my head, and you have designed me to have many. What is wrong inside of me Lord? Find that thing. Whatever it is that seeks to pervert my idea of you, or get in between my understanding of you, please seek it and destroy it Jesus. Bring every thought within me and around me into the submission of your will and stoke the Holy Ghost fire. Every time something is sent to distract me Lord, please use it as tinder to cause a bigger blaze of fire. Oh my soul, why ever be downcast within me, Jesus is greater than he who is in the world. When he hung on the cross at Calvary and rose again to take his rightful place on the throne of my soul he rested from his work and said it was done. The final touches that were needed to seal the deal of my salvation were done when for the pardon of my iniquities he died on that cross. Thoughts come against my very sense of self-worth and accomplishment. Bullets have always been aimed at my head to steal my light. People, even God fearing people want to help Satan to try to dim the natural light within my soul without even knowing it. Lord, you have made my enemies stepping stones and tinder for the fire that you meant to burn so bright. My enemies kneel down and help me step up, up and up until I truly am a city on a hill so that I can magnify you over the entire earth. Who can put out this Holy flame? I am the bride of Christ.

God’s Love Is Perfect

God’s love is perfect. He loves us when we don’t deserve it, and because he is so loving, he will justify us when we trespass against him because he came to us first. We love him because he first loved us. His love is perfect. When men and women did not esteem him, and even hated him, he died for them on the cross. He did this even though they would not recognize what he had done. He received no recognition from many for his sacrifice. He didn’t do good to us so that we would love him in return, rather he did good to us because of love. His love is perfect. When we looked to the world to make us whole, and it chewed us up and spit us out, and we cried, wondering who was there, did anyone truly care, he was there and unlike no other he understood because he was alone too while he was being treated like a criminal when he was really innocent, hanging on that cross. God’s love is perfect, and it was manifested in his Son, who died and gave his life for us. Not so that we could ever give him anything in return, but because he truly loved us. His love is still perfect.

Good News

There will come a day when I will help many people with the things that I teach. What will draw crowds to me is that the things that I say will be the good news. For beautiful are the feet of the one who brings tidings of peace. Why would people gather to hear? Because it is the truth, and the truth is such good stuff. In John 10:10 Jesus spoke and proclaimed, “Satan came to steal away your life, but I came that you would have and enjoy your life”. It is the spiritual plague that Satan uses to undermine the hand of God in our lives. It is his lies that we are not good enough, that it will never be better, that God doesn’t love us. It is the lie that no matter how much we try we will never overcome or achieve peace. It is that he shows our mistakes and our inadequacies on display for not only us, but also for the word to see. You see, our battle is not to rid ourselves of all those things, though that may become the focus of our fight. Rather, our battle is to believe what God says, the good news that we are now complete, the good news that we are forgiven, the good news that nothing we do can ever truly separate us from the love of God. That we are holy and dearly loved, and that it will be ok. That we truly are ok if we would just allow the Lord, the Holy Spirit cleanse and redeem us. It will be ok. Thank you Father for your revelations, they are such a special thing to have. Help me always to be fruitful and get the word out. Also, help me to continue to become perfect in trusting you Father God. Trust that you are faithful to lead the way. My personal challenge is believing on a subconscious level that I’ve been, or will be abandoned. Lord, by your Holy Spirit place set us, or us free. Thank you. Amen.