Waiting For Someone To Care

I had waited for someone to care. Yet Jesus was there, and he cared. I believe that most people at least one time in their life look for and wait for others to truly care. Sometimes we are blessed with those who care, but other times it feels as if no one cares. Jesus always cared. Jesus always cares. Jesus is God in the flesh, God’s son, and the word that was with God from the beginning, and was God per the books of John and 1 John. When people care life is good, but what about when they don’t care? Jesus always cares, and he’s always cared. We were not made on accident, as a matter of fact we are considered the most valuable creations in existence. I was not an accident and you were not an accident. Jesus had your name on his heart when he hung on the cross. The bible tells us that it was for the joy that was set before him that he endured the cross and its shame. It was because of the shame you endured, so that someone could literally say that he has been there. You were never alone. You are still not alone. There is always hope as long as today is called today, and it is when we have come to the end of hope in this life that we are in a position to truly gain life. Jesus said blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of God. It was for the lost, the sinner, the sick, the poor, the fatherless, the rejected, the hated, the proud, the caring, the mother, brother, lover it was for us all that Jesus came to this earth, that his Father, our creator sent him to stand in the gap and become sin, to become shame, to become sick, to become rejected, and afflicted and poor, to be bruised so that we will know that someone cared, and has been there. When Jesus cared, he really cared. He didn’t just say it with a smile and vain promises to always be there, no he showed it that when no one knew the meaning of it, he by faith died for you and me. He cared. Look at the Father who created us. Behold the creator of this world and all life. He is loving. He is kind. He willingly gave up his son and at the same time his life because he cared. He is still there, he still cares. You are not alone. Thank you Jesus for Saving the world, that all who would believe on you and call upon you can have their names written in your book of life.

God Is My Husband

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I have an issue with questioning who my future husband will be.  I inspect many people who come across my path.  I have always been husband focused.  I hate this.  It is a desire that never meets satisfaction.  I believe that everything will work out for my good, even the minor, more pesky challenges that I face.  Even this issue I keep having.  I believe that God uses this need within me to help me understand that he is my husband.  No, I don’t believe it is wrong to remarry and I know I will marry again, but this time I have a new purpose, and that is to please Jesus and have true contentment.  Not a life of my own making, but rather of his choosing.  As I keep asking, “who is my husband”, I am reminded of the way God showed my heart to me today and revealed to me that he is working on my behalf about diverse things.  Then I am once again reminded that God is my husband.  What does it mean to call God my husband?  It means that he watches out for me.  He is faithful to me and is thinking about me.  He understands me like no one else can understand me, and he is for me and not against me.  He is the best listener.  He is the most loyal friend.  He is there even when I don’t deserve it.  He cherishes me and tells me how much he adores me.  He gives me gifts.  He is Sovereign and reveals to me that he is in control and that I have to only trust him and obey.  God is so Sovereign, when I look upon this I have a deeper need within me met that wants to be submissive.  I want to let him lead me.  I want to be cared for and loved.  I don’t want to be mistreated.  God is truly my husband, and I can enjoy this union with him even better than if I was married to a carnal man.  Lord, help me forget about this need or put it in its proper place.  Amen.

Only God

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Today I am reflecting on how we are to think of ourselves with sober judgement.  We all feel special to some extent, because we are.  How can we not be when we were made in God’s image?  We are made to reflect God’s glory.  Yet, sometimes we only focus on our attributes rather than the bigger picture which is, how the world might view us.  As I consider the world’s view of myself, or rather how someone who isn’t biased might view me, I realize that without the vision of God, I look like an ordinary average person.  I see my weaknesses and my flaws.  I can see the difference between my ideal of myself, and what I am in reality.  The truth is that only God can make this unappealing earthen vessel into his master piece.

Also, I realize that only God can help me overcome my every day to day obstacles, the Lord knows I have not been able to do this myself.  Only God can justify me.  Only God can defend me.  Even now it comes to knowledge that all those who would think to form a plot against me, or think evil of me, God is there interceding for me as we speak.  Only God knows me as I hope to be, only God is able to truly believe in me.  Each person is unique.  Each person is without hope, and only God can redeem them.  Each person needs God’s mercy, the mercy that only God can provide.

Only God stays near me, even when I fail.  I fail all of the time.  Only God can love me, even when I am unlovable.  Only God can uphold me, and my purpose is for him.  Without him I would had already committed suicide years ago, even if I didn’t die, I would be dead already on the inside without him.  He truly is the only good being in this life.  No, there are good people, lovable, caring souls but no one is perfect, even Jesus said only God is truly good.  There just isn’t any purpose in this life, and only God is the reason why I find myself.  I was created to know him.  I was created to praise him.  I was not ever able to be satisfied by anything in this life, except for God.  Only God.

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These Burdens Are Too Much

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It is true that our burdens are too much.  We were created to have and enjoy our lives, and our curse was to have to work for it.  We were created to have our every need provided for.  Rams have indwelt abilities to withstand headbutts, but we do not have an indwelt ability to carry our own burdens.  These burdens are too much.  When we think about what our burdens cost us, why not cast our cares on Jesus, who died for us?  He said, “come to me all you who are burdened and heavy laden, and I will give you rest, cast your cares upon me, because I care for you”.  Part of the curse of death is having to carry our burdens alone.  These burdens are too much.  When we turn to God with our cares, he is able to give us rest for our tired bones.  Thank you Lord for relieving my cares and for taking care of everything that concerns me.  Please remind us all that you are near, not far away.  Remind us that we are not meant to carry our burdens alone, but that we can cast those cares upon you and that as we do you keep us safe.  Help us have rest.  Amen

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Unworthy

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I am reminded today of how unworthy we are.  The Lord knew we were unworthy, so he died for us in order to fill in the gap for us.  First we have the law, man’s transgression against the law, separation from God, and then came Jesus.  He became sin, chastised and punished, so that we can be reconciled.  He knew we were unworthy.  He loved us despite our unworthiness.  Now we have Christian brothers and sisters casting stones at each other, they are saying, “you are unworthy of me!  You are unworthy of my time, of my energy, you are a leech upon my life.  You do not treat me with respect.  Depart from me, you are unworthy!”  They say these things because people generally are unworthy, but those casting judgments are not any better.  The Lord is showing me as I seek him about being rejected by friends who have said to themselves that I am unworthy.  I said something they didn’t like, so now I’m unworthy.  When we say a person is unworthy, we are saying to them, “you are not good enough for me, you do not measure up.  You do not deserve my attention or my love.  Depart from me”.  This has happened so much that it is evident that the Lord has a lesson in it.  So I asked him why, he told me that his people don’t know how to forgive.  They have their own expectations of what is the right way, as a matter of fact a friend shared with me a scripture in Proverbs where it says that every man thinks that they are right in their own eyes (Proverbs 21:2), but their way is not right when they judge others as unworthy.  That is the truth.  What is worse is that as I have sought the Lord in how to deal with these people who are now unworthy of my effort, in my own spiritual pride and feelings of rejection I want to move on and wipe the dust from my feet, but Jesus said, “no, forgive them”.  I told him that these people don’t even want anything to do with me, why should I pray for them to change their hearts.  He told me that it was wrong for them to settle in their hearts to not forgive, and that their rejection of me didn’t mean that I was unworthy, it meant that their judgement was wrong, and that there is no person who I am going to have a relationship with who I won’t at some point in time have to walk in forgiveness.  Jesus was surrounded by people.  He had devoted disciples, and he also had many more followers and admirers, yet when push came to shove, he was truly alone.  They didn’t love him because they were good people, rather they loved him because he first loved them and had something to give them.  He had a little piece of God in him.  Jesus couldn’t count on a single one of them to truly love in at the end.  When he hung on that cross, even God turned his face from him.  He was utterly alone.  We are to love people because they need it, not because they are worthy.  We are to forgive people because they need it, not because they are worthy.  In the end it isn’t about who was right or who was wrong.  In the end we are all imperfect.  In the end, what will matter is that we loved and that we are loved by the only one who ever truly loved us in the first place.  God is the one who is worthy.  Even Jesus was his design and his gift to us.  God gave him up.  It is time that we believers start showing the world a little piece of Jesus.  It is time that we start seeking deliverance from unforgiveness.  It is time that we rid the words “unworthy” from our vocabulary unless we are discussing our own worth while bowing at God’s feet.  It is time that we see that there is no person who is worthy, and at the same time every person is worthy because Jesus said he was.  If Jesus said that person was worthy, God forbid I ever say that a person is unworthy again.  Lord Jesus, please help us get this revelation.  Please help us have genuine love. Thank you for making us worthy even though we were not.  Thank you for loving everyone God.  We are worthy now because you said it, though we are all unworthy.

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He Delivers Us From Our Troubles

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“Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him from them all”

Psalm 34:19

This is the Lord’s personal promise to me in this season of my life.  He has quickened it to my heart more than once, and then I’ve read it many times in different places.  When I begin to fret about a problem, old or new, I recall this promise.  Then I rest again.  It only takes a tiny bit of faith to move mountains.  It only takes the word of God given to you personally to build your faith.  When he says that he will deliver me from everything, I mean he will deliver me from everything.  His presence comes upon me and shows me the fine details I get caught up thinking about, and he says to me, “I am going to deliver you from all that concerns you”.  How glorious is that promise!  How consuming is the delivering fire of the Lord.  I am reminded once again, he is going to deliver me from all my cares.  Think of a single care, and this is what he said he will deliver you from.  Anything that brings an ounce of interest to my mind, he will deliver me from that and make it right.  My finances, you are going to deliver me from all my troubles, my home needs, you are going to deliver me from all my troubles, my children and family, you will deliver me from my troubles.  My enemies, you will deliver me from all my troubles.  Everything that has been done wrong, you will make all things right.  All things within my thinking and my feeling, you will deliver me from these things.  My relationships, you will deliver me from all my troubles.  All the things that are not right without me, you will deliver me from all my troubles.  All the things I don’t like in my life, you care and you will deliver me from all these troubles.   All those who stand against us, you will deliver me from all my troubles.  You see me, and you care about me.  You care about everything that concerns me.  You see me as beautiful, you have loved me with an all enduing love.  You have been faithful to me.  Surely goodness, and mercy, will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.  Hallelujah.  You and I are one.

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My Defender, My God

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One thing that I’ve always experienced in my life is rejection coupled with God’s defense.  This is not an accident.  Each one of us is created to reveal his glory according to the proportion of our faith.  It used to surprise me when God revealed his favor for me to someone, they would say, “wow, you were right”.  I knew it all, because God already told me, so why were they so surprised?.  I used to get so upset when people didn’t see my worth or misunderstood me.  Now I have accepted it.  Rarely do people see what God shows me right away.  Eventually the truth is revealed.  It just doesn’t matter to me anymore.  I don’t need another’s approval, I only ever have needed God’s.  God has allowed me to be misunderstood and rejected so that he alone would be my source.  I used to crave affirmation, who doesn’t like affirmation?  Now I just don’t need it.  I only need God’s.  It would be nice if a person would come and stay, but seasons of separation are part of God’s plan.  He won’t ever let someone else take his place in my life.  Not everyone would see this the way that I do, nor would they accept and and understand it, and that doesn’t matter either.  I only need God to tell me that I’m where I need to be.  The times I do get my hopes up and start to put my sites on a person to lift me up, God quickly reminds me that they are but dust.  No one shall take his place of glory in my life.  We can love people, we can fellowship with people, we can assist and receive help from other people, but we should never exalt people to the pedestal of authority that is meant to be God’s.  There was a time that Israel asked God for a king, as a matter of fact they insisted on it.  God did not plan for a person to rule over us.  Kings were not part of his original design.  We pushed for it, so he finally gave us Kings to rule over us.  This was not what he had in mind.  There is no human that is great without God’s anointing.  No one is worthy of praise like God.  As much as I have been let down by others, constantly, I am grateful that this has been my experience.  Yes, I am sensitive.  Yes, I expect perfection, but is that a bad thing?  It is when I am looking to a person to be that God.  God is who I have always longed for.  I am designed to worship him alone.  Because I have had the grace to understand his forgiveness I can walk in forgiveness towards others.  Dealing with people requires a large dose of forgiving, but here’s the thing.  If you expect to deal with a person and not be let down, you are in for a long bumpy ride. People are made from dust.  God reminds me of this over and over again so I can remember that he is God, and no person is anywhere near his throne to be worshiped.    If we have God, how can we ever go wrong?  Who can speak against us?  No, we don’t need a King.  We need to worship God. Don’t get discouraged when others fail you or don’t understand you.  God will defend you.  You only need his love.  Thank you God for always defending me.

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Hear His Voice

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John 10:27-28 KJV  “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:  And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand”

Don’t be threatened by people or circumstances.  Don’t be distracted by the noise.  Don’t be distracted by negative emotions or any thoughts that exalt them above God’s truth.  Just listen to the Shepherd’s voice.  He knows the way.  Only one thing has ever been needful.  It is to hear his word, and to follow him anywhere he may lead.  If he says it is OK, it is OK.  If he speaks and says to stop, stop.  If he gives you a morsel of word to think on, chew on it and be still as it nourishes your body.  He knows the way, you are not an orphan.  He will not abandon you or lead you astray.  Without him we can accomplish nothing, but allowing him to lead and following him will lead us the right way.  Thank the Lord today for giving you the great shepherd to follow.  Listen for his voice.  What is the Shepherd saying to you today?  Lord speak, your child is listening.

Psalm 23:4 KJV  “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me”

 

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Demonic Whispers

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Most people who don’t know the truth believe that our mental disorders are medical diseases.  Science has proven that there are certain brain chemistry changes in people with diverse mental diseases.  This helps aid the development of medication to help stabilize the nerve synapses and the hormone levels.  Being a medical professional myself, I advocate taking medication to help treat all of our illnesses.

Yet, as a Holy Spirit filled Christian who has been taught a lot about the unseen realm of the supernatural, which is confirmed by the Holy Bible, I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that science will never trump God’s truth.  As a matter of fact, science only evolves to finally conclude the ultimate truth, which is the Holy word of God.

According to the word of God which yes was written over a thousand years ago, inspired by the Holy Spirit, we are taught that the earth that we see, is built on the word of God.  The earth manifests God’s truth, it will never dispel it.  And in the areas where it has not yet evolved, it is temporarily ignorant.  One truth that I have found to prove that is the development of CBT or cognitive behavioral therapy which is probably the most effective behavioral modification program that teaches us to learn how to change our behaviors by first changing our thoughts, all the while it has been written in the ancient Holy Bible that we are to place our thoughts on things above.

As we dig into the bible and are enlightened through the power of the Holy Spirit (by the way, if you have never been saved you will not likely experience this enlightenment, because with salvation comes the Holy Spirit who teaches us the truth by the word of God, you can be a bible scholar and still not know the truth), we learn some valuable lessons about spiritual warfare.  We are told that our battle is not with flesh and blood, but with spiritual powers and wickedness in high places (Ephesians 6:12).  The real truth of the matter is that what we see from a science lab is a physical manifestation of a spiritual transformation.

All those low things that plague us, anxious thoughts, feelings of hopelessness and suicide, feelings of low self-worth, lust, pride.. the list is endless are geared by demonic whispers.  We have believed those whispers, embracing them as our own tainted thoughts.  I believe that taking medication and going to counseling is a worldly way of trying to resolve a spiritual issue.  Whereas, if we deal with the demonic stronghold behind those whispers, the cause of the psychological wound stops.

I had experienced depression with suicidal ideations since childhood.  When I was a young adult I was diagnosed with some mood and anxiety disorders and given medication to take.  The doctor told me that it would only get worse as I aged and that I would likely end up being hospitalized for it.  I would take the medication, stop the medication, take it, stop it.  At one point I accepted that I would always be dependent on psychotropic medications for the rest of my life, and that having major depression would always be my disability in life.  Then God started exposing the truth to me, he brought many anointed prophets into my life to pray for me, and then Satan was exposed and I was delivered from that spiritual bondage.  I can truly say that I am no longer oppressed or depressed.  I just don’t have that problem anymore.  Through God’s intervention, the lie of depression was exposed, the root cause being exposed then with that truth and prayer that issue was resolved.  I’d been healed, hallelujah.  Do I still have bad days?  Sure.  Do I get down sometimes?  Yes.  Though I would never call it depression because it isn’t like that anymore, maybe sad or discouraged.  Those feelings are normal, but depression, major depression, and the like are not.

There is so much more to say on this topic but I’ll conclude this topic for now and pick it back up another day as I’m led.  What thoughts are you experiencing today that have you anxious, confused, discouraged, depressed, hopeless, irritated?  Any that you are aware of?  You think they are really your thoughts, but are they really?

Lord, please expose the enemy and guide us into all the truth so that we can be freed from captivity.  Thank You God.  Amen.

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That Is Hunger….

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That lack of satisfaction with something in your life, that is called hunger.  That need to change something about yourself which never goes away even when you justify it, that is hunger.  That lack of peace and happiness you feel, that is hunger.  Hunger is similar to the empty, burning you feel in your stomach pouch when your body runs low on fuel, sometimes hunger is manifested in other areas of your body, such as weakness, tiredness, irritability.  Those who have low blood sugar often feel the pains of hunger and learn to easily identify when they need to eat.  It is common knowledge that those of us who overeat on food, are often try to substitute soul hunger for physical hunger.  We even are so convinced that it is hard to train our brain otherwise, stressful eventual= sudden irresistible urge to raid the fridge or order a cheesy pizza.. or .. fill in the blank.

The bible speaks much about soul hunger, and even tells us the name of it, giving it a label for those of us who like and rely on labels, this label can help us identify what we are actually hungry for.  This label is called, “righteousness”.  Yes, we are deeply hungry for righteousness, to the point that without it we may whither away and die in our souls.  The Lord has helped me become familiar with this new label, and as I seek him when I’m feeling dissatisfied, he is teaching me why.  True, we humans often have emotions or a longing for something and we can’t even identify what the need is.  Some of us who believe we are smart in our rights will often label it ourselves, but we are told that this is foolishness, and to fear God and not rely on our own understanding.  He says, “acknowledge me in all your ways and I will make your paths straight”.  As smart as I think that I am, I have learned that I really know nothing unless the Lord teaches me.  So all that I have is from him.  I know much only because I seek him much as a clueless vessel.  “Lord, please help me know, I don’t have a clue”.  He honors that, he is merciful and expands my understanding a lot.  I cannot brag, it is all from him because I admit I don’t have a clue.  When we humble ourselves before him, he will lift us up.  Humility is simply understanding who the credit truly belongs to, that is all.  Those who believe it is because they are naturally smarter than everyone else, are truly the foolish ones, and those who are the dumb and weak in the world, God will lift them up.  Actually, we are all the same to God, foolish or humble, he exalts all who ask because he gives graciously to all without finding fault (James 1:5).

So, as I was saying, when I ask God, “why am I feel dissatisfied, why do I feel discontent?”  He reminds me of something that I have been struggling with for as long as I can recall, and I think of all the ways I have tried to overcame, only to fail.  How I’ve tried to accept it, how at moments of weakness I make excuses and justify it, making room for the flesh.  The bottom line is, even though my flesh is so entrenched and does not want to  change, but Jesus died so that I can have freedom from that.  That is called  being dead in the flesh.  As long as I live according to the old dead man, I will reap soul death.  Jesus died so that I can overcome and rise above.

If I was content living in that state of old ways and having soul death, then I wouldn’t need a Savior nor would I have hope for something better.  Yet, because I have been saved by grace through faith, I been promised new life, and for this reason I am dissatisfied.  That is called soul hunger.  That has been given a label which Jesus called, “righteousness”.  He said, “blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied (Matthew 5:6).  If you are a Christian, and are feeling dissatisfied, I assure you that you are hungry.  Sure, you believe you are hungry for _______..  fill in the blank but I’m predicting what you think belongs in that blank is a desire you have been longing for, but that is not what you are hungry for.  What you and I and every person hungers for is to be righteous.  The dead hunger for life, those who have never been born again.  They are at risk of never obtaining true life as long as they reject the truth and embrace Satan’s lie that there is no true salvation nor purpose in this life.  They say coping is the way to handle this life, to make the best of it, and then expect to die, the end.  Those who are saved, long for fullness of life.  They long to step out of the chicken coop and soar above the storm, because they are now an eagle though in their old way of believing they still live as if they are a chicken who can only hop, flapping its wings and go so far.  We all are meant to soar.  Soaring is being alive, identifying with life, and this begins with dissatisfaction.  Friends, that dissatisfaction is a gift.  It is called, “hunger and thirst for righteousness”.  Until we meet that need, and rise above our old ways of thinking and believing, then we will never have that need quenched.  There is no substitute for it.  It is time to stop believing that you can’t, or that you don’t want to change, because that is a lie.  Instead, let that hunger motivate you to seek what truly satisfies.

When I understand that this intense hunger is a need to overcome, then I also realize there is more aggression to overcome.  I don’t want to be held back any longer.  I don’t want to be passively accept status quo.  I can’t.  I’m hungry.  When a person truly becomes hungry enough, they cannot ignore it anymore.  At some point they stop waiting for food to fall in their life.  If they have no food in the fridge or no money to buy more, than they will beg or start looking in other people’s dumpsters.  When we have a hunger for righteousness, we can get so hungry that we will do whatever we have to do to be filled.  Thank You Lord Jesus for giving us this hunger.  Surely those who have it and see it for what it is, will finally be satisfied.