I Never Knew You

Silhouette of a man walking into the light

The word Knew here is related to a person who walks in the light compared to a person walking in the darkness.  The difference between a person who walks in the light verses the darkness is a person who is open, forthcoming and true.  You see, when we are not forthcoming with our answers to ourselves and to God then we become one who is deceived. The word describes a light that is shining in the darkness.  A light is illuminating, it exposes all the things that are hidden by a cover of darkness. When the light is turned on, then we can see what is really in the room. When we can see what is in the room then we can see clearly whether the objects are clean or something useful, or old rubbish that needs to be thrown away.  We can find our belongings, our clothing, the tools that we need to function and live in life. It would be impossible to clean our room of impurities if you cannot see the true cleanliness of an object in the darkness. You could try to cleanse it in the water by touch, and rub it with your hands or a towel and then think it is clean, until you turn on the light and discover that it is not.  The Lord says to you, “look, I know that you have dirty objects in your room, I’m not here to judge but rather to cleanse your room, however I am unable to help you become clean unless you allow me to turn on a light”. Because of our shame we try to hide our dirty objects in the dark, but to make ourselves feel clean we might go into a corner of the room and rub an object with a hand towel and call it good, so that we can ease our conscience and so that the father of lights, who is God the creator who is clean and pure won’t be able to see just how dirty the object is.  The deceptive cleansing can be likened to one who says a quick prayer at bedtime or reads a chapter out of the bible every now and then so that they can feel holy, however they never truly become clean because, they refuse to turn on the light so that they themselves can properly face the dirt in their home and deal with it, although the bible says that we cannot cleanse ourselves sufficiently. It is not our responsibility to cleanse ourselves because God said that he would do that for us, all that he asks is that we turn on the lights so that both you and him can see the needs properly, and then he himself will cleanse your dirty home.  The dirty home I am referring to is the room in your heart where old habits, mistakes, ugly behaviors and secrets reside. If we say that we don’t have dirt in our hearts, if we say that we don’t have sin, then we lie and there is no light in us. We must choose to open the door and turn on the light, exposing the contents to God and confess that we have a problem if we are ever to have fellowship with him, because he is light, and in him there is no darkness. This light is likened to the pureness as far as motives and true righteousness is concerned. When we remain in the dark, we do not reside with God. If we ever want to walk with God and enter into his kingdom of light, we must first step into the light and abandon the lies.  You see, a person who says that they know God, while never turning on the light, despite how many scriptures that they can recite or how well they can teach a bible lesson or the miracles they might be able to perform, the Lord will address their claim to be his disciple on judgement day and say to him, “depart from me, I never knew you”, because that deceived man or woman thought that their vain attempts at cleansing themselves while never exposing the contents of their room to God who only dwells in the light, the Lord will be accurate to say that he never knew him because he dwelled in darkness, and not in the light so the Lord never saw him he was hidden from his sight. Make no mistake, if you are to be saved, you must be real about everything before the father of lights.  

1 John 1:5-10

5 This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. 6 If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. 8 If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

We will say to him, “but I prophesied in your name, I cast demons out in your name”, but here’s a deeper look at this let us get this:

We have a front that we are presenting to him, how we want to be seen by him, but that is not who we really are on the inside, and when he looks at you he wants to see the inside, and because you won’t allow him to see the whole truth, then the “you” you hope he’ll see is not who you truly are and he will not ever truly know you.  Do you get it?

Selah, let us think about this

His will vs Appearance of Righteousness- A Vision

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I had a vision that led me to understanding. There is an appearance of Righteousness that is not of God. Such people would be dressed to the part. They will appear to be good guys. They will appear to uphold the law. In this vision I saw myself being taken into a house with my kids and my captor was a very large strong man, but he was looking behind him and looking over his shoulder. I was confused for a moment because he seemed to be kidnapping me but upon further inspection he was protecting us. He looked outside at the sky and there were helicopters looking for me and he was disturbed and closed the door when he turned so i could see his face he was getting larger and he had fire behind his eyes and was opening his mouth to roar.. this was a vision that came upon me and when i sought to understand it the Lord showed me that the helicopters were like police.. i was wondering why id be hiding from the police is this an apocalyptic vision? But i understand that these are people who are not on God’s side. We consider righteous people the good guys but these people were not because they did not have the right heart and were against God. This large man was protecting me and I knew that the helicopters would not ever find my family because he hid them. Sometimes what we call evil is really God protecting us from evil. We need to trust what God has provided for us. We need to trust and understand that appearances are not always right. Righteousness is not about rule keeping aside from the will of God. True righteousness is obedience to God. We can follow rules but have hate in our hearts. Always trust God. We try so hard to protect ourselves that we assume God will not use our current circumstance and the current people but faith is embracing what he has already done in your yard.  Now I understand that this was an Angel of the Lord, and in the end times, there will be much persecution and those who are right will be treated like they are wrong, by the “good guys”, beware.  

Revelations 19:12 His eyes were as a flame of fire, and on his head were many crowns; and he had a name written, that no man knew, but he himself”

fireeyes2

Purity Prayer

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Father give me purity I pray. Make my thoughts line up with yours and the ones that don’t please make them accountable to your truth. Please anoint my mind with the truth and also let it overflow to those who come near. Please make my heart pure. Please help me see everybody for what is at their core and not to be easily offended. Please give me a giving spirit and not be selfish. Please give me the courage to preach your truth. Please make ready my feet and those who you will to gain from being affected by me and my life somehow whether they are blessed by giving to me, helping me, learning from me or even if they just don’t care for me let them see Christ in me and lead them in someway through the impact of anything they face please teach them the truth. We praise you in all your ways you have made all things beautiful in your time and in your ways. Amen.

Heartache

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I have been dwelling in a place that I now know as heartache. This is not the same as heartbreak because its been sometime now since I’ve had my heart really broken. Actually this isn’t true it has been recent like less than 6 months. I suppose this would explain my state of heartache. Heartache though is not something I’m choosing. As a matter of fact I’ve been trying really hard to step out of this yard of heartache. However I’m learning that even when I leave the yard of it, it is still there. It goes where I go because it comes from the inside. I suppose there is no instant heal spray. I suppose purposing to forgive isn’t a quick fix. I suppose distractions don’t resolve the ache… and it is not just I who aches, it is my children that ache. It is that boyfriend who aches. It is the friend who is always smiling who aches. We all suffer heart break, father how do we rid ourselves of such an infestation? I suppose part of it has to do with forgiving oneself. Maybe we are so busy forgiving others and not forgiving ourselves. I forgive myself for allowing myself to be vulnerable to be broken. I forgive myself for not being smarter to avoid getting my heart broken. I forgive myself for not being strong. I forgive myself for wanting to be loved. I forgive myself for not being perfect. I forgive myself for being someone who has beem rejected. I forgive myself for being me. Valuable life lessons can rise from the ashes of heart ache. One is compassion for others with heart ache. It helps when you know that you are valuable enough to inflict heart ache or even a healing in another persons life. Women (and me ) should not embark on giving their heart in an unhealthy endeavor to fix someone else. You wont fix someone else but you can lose yourself. Or.. is losing yourself the key? Its just impossible to enter into marriage without losing yourself to somebody in a way. You lose yourself by giving that person confidence.. which means you are risking betrayal. But my motto is.. don’t trust anyone.. therefore i don’t trust anyone. But that being said.. being married means you trust someone right? But i cannot trust anyone. I’m not ready.. but.. can a person ever truly be trusted? I suppose this means the test of time.. i don’t know I’m waiting for that one person who can ignite my trust. Is that possible? Only God knows what is best in the end.  I think he’s got this i just have to trust in his guidance on every matter. Especially when it comes to marriage partner.. the bible says that when we honor our parents we are putting a garland of wisdom and promise around our necks. We should listen to them. We should seek wisdom in marriage. We should follow their advice. We should follow.our fathers advice.. he knows best. Father please add learning to our ways. So that we can keep our path straight. Amen

 

That Feeling-Exposing Oppressions

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There is another side of being a prophet that I don’t like and wish I could understand more. That feeling I sometimes get. I wouldn’t call it anxiety because I understand the feeling and definition of anxiety very well. It’s that feeling. Its a sense of the negative side of the supernatural. There are many positive feelings one will get when in touch with the supernatural such as feeling God, hearing God, seeing God or at least perceiving him. There is no greater feeling in the world then when we are in his presence. No, this is a different feeling altogether. One that has led me to have anxiety but not this time because I have been set free from oppression. That is what this is. Oppression wants in. It used to be in, but now it only lurks through the window. It won’t get in but its very presence is… agitating.. when demons come our way to wage war.. we get more agitated, restless, on edge, edgy, depressed though this time i’m not depressed. I have so many thoughts that come to try to make me depressed.. but i was set free so its like pouring water on a duck.. just runs off the feathers. Along with these thoughts come people.. the same kind of people.. they have similar characteristics… to discourage, to put down, to control, to crush. When you see the same demon in many different faces you begin to learn who your enemy is. Knowledge is key to overcoming evil. Evil has to have a name so to speak. This is why when you watch an exorcism you often see the exorcist demand a name.. because naming him, understanding him and his nature and how he forms weapons against you.. then you can gain power and gain truth. Satan works under the cloak of darkness.. he is deception and he lies and he hides so he won’t be exposed. Instead we see the symptoms of a demon infestation. We see anger,depression, strife, perverse acts.. we see the results but the only way to truly be free of his plague is to pull him out by roots. No Satan you do not have a right to he here. Lucifer you are not welcome I bind you get out of my life, out of my kids life, out of my family’s life, out of the life of the listeners. We rebuke you we take authority and bind you in the name of Jesus Christ and I loose peace, truth, and patience to wait on you and do your will father God. We loose freedom we set the captives free from every shame, every lie, every thing that exalts itself to the truth. Your kingdom come God your will be done in earth and in our lives by your grace we have been set free amen.

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Marriage and God’s Plan For My Life?

This is a topic that I have given much attention to and that I feel I should post about today. Why not? Don’t most single people want to remarry? A very few do not they say no, not for me, ever again! Then you have the few that don’t want to, however when they are honest they’ll say “sure, if I find the right person”, this is wise. You know I want to remarry, I did it wrong the first couple of times and now when I think about a third time a few things are happening inside of me. One is major anxiety! Lol.. Like when I have male friends I get close to and start considering this topic with, I lose peace which I feel is from God, but also I feel like there are deeper reasons. One yes there’s a thing called a spirit husband who might need to be dealt with, I’ve had a couple people see this when praying for me. However, I think this is because God really wants me to focus on him right now. Today I asked again “Father, you know I want to get married again” and his response? “Focus on ministry” lol. Not only has he been telling me this in my spirit, however people are starting to come out and tell me this in spirit as they are led. Yet, I still have the desire to marry. I know that this is the “seek ye first his kingdom and the rest will be added unto you” business meaning that as I seek to do the ministry he places on my heart, whether it be blogging, groups, fb, writing, getting established in a new church… and wherever he leads me, then my future spouse will find me. When I start focusing on a man in the natural, because there are so so many good, God fearing men, something happens, I lose peace!! Yet, they are serving to be good practice for me. I am finding out slowly what matters to me. One thing I do not want is someone to try to quench or control me. So many people come into my life to support or help me in prayer, yet as they get close to me they want to start criticizing me. I hate this.. not that I’m not open to correction, but it has to be in line with what the spirit says. And if you are not acting in the spirit then you are acting with the adversary, and I have listened to his voice plenty in my life, telling me I’m not good enough. Get behind me Satan I have a God and you friend are not him. So I’m learning that I don’t need a man to build me up, and if a man does not accept and love me as I am, then our relationship may not be ideal. I am who I am, and I am fine. No, not perfect but let that be between God and I, thank you. Yes I myself have much to learn as well. Maybe I need to learn more submission, maybe I need more attitude adjustment. All I know is that right now I need friends, and I need healing. I had not loved myself enough therefore I allowed people or even latched onto people who didn’t love me enough and then later abandoned me and hurt me in some way. Other then my first spouse, I mainly was the one who hurt him. No, no one is perfect, there is a place where I need forgiveness and to forgive, all of which I’ve already made a choice to do and have to daily keep making that choice. But for now, i really just want a friend. Someone who I do not feel I have to impress but who is there regardless. This is the problem with men who have romantic interest in me, they come with the motive to get romantic with me, and their friendship is conditional. No thanks, though if were not God’s desire that I still seek these friendships then he would change that desire, but he doesn’t. The desire to bond with men on a friendship level is strong. That we may mutually edify and pray for one another. This is all a learning process. But one thing is clear, I want God’s will.. that is the only way! Lord give us all strength and grace to do it your way. Amen.

The Little Things

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Sometimes little things can ruin our day. Little things like the way our morning goes before we even get out the door to get our day started. Maybe we lost our keys, our favorite book, car didn’t start, there are so many things that could go wrong. Maybe it was something someone said. Some things are bigger things than others, but some things that totally upset us are little things. Here’s a secret, even big things are also little things when we consider them in the face of God. 2 Corinthians 4:17 says-“For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison”. So what does it mean that our light and momentary afflictions are working for our eternal glory? Well, when we respond by getting angry, maybe yelling a little, cursing a little, or kicking something (all of which I have been guilty of when getting real frustrated, and kicking something doesn’t help anything except causes a little pain), then this glory isn’t necessarily in the works for us. No, this means that our light and momentary afflictions have the potential to work out for our future glory. We are told in Hebrews chapter 12 to endure hardship as discipline from the Lord. It says that he allows us to have hardship because he is our heavenly father who loves us, and we are given an illustration of how we as evil people rebuke our children, and he rebukes us as well, but for our own good. Hebrews 12:11 states-
“No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way”. Do you note that there is a condition here, the condition is that if we are trained by it. A child can either make the disciplinary process productive for themselves, or more grievous. For example, I have a pre-teen daughter who in her hormonal state she is often mean and snotty to her siblings, provoking fights when there doesn’t need to be. In an attempt to correct her I’ve taken away toys or even given her time out. I had given her a choice when given time out, I say to her “when you are ready to quit your attitude, you can come out”. Do you know that this child is so stubborn she will sit there for a very long time still expecting me to tell her that she can come out without changing her attitude or taking any responsibility. She is choosing not to be trained by the discipline she is given and therefore prolongs her disciplinary action, really making it more grievous for herself. This is the way our hardships often work for us as well. Though having a change in attitude doesn’t necessarily take away the hardship, but rather it makes the hardship be cut down to size and this gives us patience and increases our faith and strength.

We are told in James chapter 1 to rejoice when we experience hardships because of the character that it develops and I can relate to this, can you? Have you had a problem that you’ve faced for a very long time that you had prayed and prayed or hoped would go away and have done all you can do to make it go away, yet it really didn’t go away, or rather it took a lot of work and learning to get this weakness under control just to eventually gain character and knowledge that is invaluable in the process? If I am correct, that is what the song “Believer” by Imagine Dragons is about, how the song writer had a life long trial with chronic pain. We wise people learn over time to be grateful for our hardships because we learn that in the long run they develop wonderful things in our character that we cannot obtain otherwise. My personal battle has been with fear. Shortly after I was spirit filled and anointed for great things I experienced the worst fear in my entire life and oppression. It began when I was 17 and made me go a bit crazy in that I prayed constantly to make it go away, and then began a new battle with legalism because in my attempt to make the fear and anxieties go away I attempted to be perfect and follow the law perfectly because I felt very condemned like I had lost my peace with God, my grace and this was extremely traumatic because I was just experiencing the heaven of walking in his spirit. I was later diagnosed with OCD, and attacked it from a medical stand point, which the medication did help. However we are not just physical beings, we are spirit beings. The medication helped ease the strain of fear, but overcoming it took years and year and years of learning, scripture reading and renewing the of the mind, and also deliverance, though this was one spirit that was not going away by the laying on of hands, but rather it has taken getting the truth deep down into my soul. And although it was tormenting I had gotten stronger and stronger and finally it’s about licked, well for the most part. If I had not experienced this fear and then the fight to overcome legalism, learning to be free from the religious spirit then I would not be where I am right now in my understanding and faith. Thank you Jesus. Now, I am experiencing another obstacle that seems to be there to teach me a lesson, and this lesson is to trust God in every situation. Amen, thank you father for the little things that lead to huge lessons. Thank you, thank you, thank you.