I prefer to have someone to talk to, yet at times I don’t have that special friend. Or, I’ll find someone to talk to, but the deeper need isn’t met. Why? Because no one satisfies like you. It is time alone spent with you that I am changed. Sometimes I think about how I lack. How I am not this or that. I go back to thinking about men, always expecting them to reject me. When they accept me, I still don’t feel the deeper satisfaction of being understood, cared about, truly seen and loved. Just hearing, “I love you”, isn’t enough. Just being told, “you are pretty” isn’t enough. No matter where I turn, someone else is prettier, smarter, more mature, sweeter, wittier. It is not a contest for sure. Every person is put on this earth to shine, and for a purpose. I can celebrate when another woman shines and gets that love she’s always wanted. I just want to be satisfied. It is still clear to me God, that I will only get that need satisfied in you, and I am reminded that you alone know every need I have and are able to meet it. You are shaping me, molding me, changing my shape, strengthening my faith. Teaching me to hear your voice and hold strongly to it, because all kinds of things make me want to deviate.. but you are with me. God, help me get go even deeper with you. I want to get even closer to you. I want to know you so intimately. You are surely the best lover, my soul was made to celebrate you and to be loved by you. You came down to save me. Help me to let you be the leader. Teach me. You have stepped back and let me do things my own way, I want your way. Please teach me. I don’t know how to follow you unless you show me. I don’t know how to do anything unless you guide me. I want to learn. Here’s what I need more, you impressed on me… I need to trust you. I need to know that when I am not even thinking about you, that you are bigger, that you are there, that you have not abandoned me. You spoke that word to me yesterday, you said, “I have not abandoned you”, and I even asked you what you meant, confused because I wasn’t consciously thinking you abandoned me. Now you are showing me. what you really meant by saying that to me is that… even if I go about my merry way, you care and watch over me. You care about me. I don’t have to beg you to pay attention to me. You are bigger than me. You have not left me alone to figure things out. I am not alone. You have not left me. You are still there, you are still here. You are near to me. Others often leave me. Others often don’t care. They care but not when I need them to care, or like I like them to care. You knitted me in my mother’s womb. You have always watched over me. I know this, yet I still try to take care of everything by myself and I act like I’m alone. I cannot do anything on my own. Please show me just how much you care about me. Please take care of me. Let this revelation go deep. Thank you Lord. Amen.
Published by sweetgentlespirit
Through life's challenges I have learned that Jesus really is the only one who can truly satisfy. Through his grace I have already achieved so much, and wish to include you all in my journey as I continue to press on towards the mark to which I was called. I hope that you can identify and share in my successes and even my failures. It is also my hope that you will see what a day in the life of a spirit filled believer looks like up close and personal. May you be blessed as I am blessed, and may you share in my anointed grace. God bless you as you read. View all posts by sweetgentlespirit