Gluttony … number something

It has been a while since I’ve blogged about this topic, however I feel lead to come back to it, so here it is. I have not stopped seeking the Lord in this area, as the moment I get stressed or upset, food is what calls my name. I am being better about not overeating, however not perfect as I prefer, and unlike when I was in my 20’s, the weight does not budge. When seeking God about this, hoping to have more stress to motivate me when I failed, as what happened when God dealt with me about smoking cessation, I am finding that he is not as concerned about my physical physique, or my overeating behavior as I am. He wants me to take some steps back and listen to what he has to say about the topic. Romans 14:17 “For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit”. What he keeps showing me is that it is my choice. When I abstain because I have made the choice, not because of pressure from the holy spirit, then something happens, I feel pride in making a positive choice and I feel good about myself. This is righteousness. I also find that I am having grace to understand that there is not a time frame. I am not training myself to comply for a scheduled beauty pageant, and I’m not so fat that my health is in danger. This gives me peace. I am having to use the observe and correct tool daily… like my old youth pastor used to say, “if you’re not sure, just bake a cake”…. meaning there are times after I have a meal that I’m still feeling hunger, so instead of getting into fear about whether I should eat more or not, I sometimes just eat, using it as a tool to see how I feel afterwards and my objective is to learn from it. There are times when I feel immediately full after a bite, and I say “yep, that was not a hunger cue as I thought it was”. You see when a person has a distorted relationship with food, they have a distorted feeling of hunger. When I am stressed, I feel hungry. When I smell something yummy and food is offered to me, my lust for it kicks in and talks to my brain telling me I’m hungry. My goal is to eat only when my stomach is hungry, not my head, mind, lust, emotions, and to be satisfied with that. Father God, thank you for giving me grace that is sufficient for me. Thank you for giving me the ability to approach this area peacefully and for always helping me grow and to eventually succeed. Help me to not use this grace as an excuse to eat in a way that robs me of peace and joy. Please increase my understanding even more regarding this and to really hear you in these matters. Amen.

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