His will vs Appearance of Righteousness- A Vision

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I had a vision that led me to understanding. There is an appearance of Righteousness that is not of God. Such people would be dressed to the part. They will appear to be good guys. They will appear to uphold the law. In this vision I saw myself being taken into a house with my kids and my captor was a very large strong man, but he was looking behind him and looking over his shoulder. I was confused for a moment because he seemed to be kidnapping me but upon further inspection he was protecting us. He looked outside at the sky and there were helicopters looking for me and he was disturbed and closed the door when he turned so i could see his face he was getting larger and he had fire behind his eyes and was opening his mouth to roar.. this was a vision that came upon me and when i sought to understand it the Lord showed me that the helicopters were like police.. i was wondering why id be hiding from the police is this an apocalyptic vision? But i understand that these are people who are not on God’s side. We consider righteous people the good guys but these people were not because they did not have the right heart and were against God. This large man was protecting me and I knew that the helicopters would not ever find my family because he hid them. Sometimes what we call evil is really God protecting us from evil. We need to trust what God has provided for us. We need to trust and understand that appearances are not always right. Righteousness is not about rule keeping aside from the will of God. True righteousness is obedience to God. We can follow rules but have hate in our hearts. Always trust God. We try so hard to protect ourselves that we assume God will not use our current circumstance and the current people but faith is embracing what he has already done in your yard.  Now I understand that this was an Angel of the Lord, and in the end times, there will be much persecution and those who are right will be treated like they are wrong, by the “good guys”, beware.  

Revelations 19:12 His eyes were as a flame of fire, and on his head were many crowns; and he had a name written, that no man knew, but he himself”

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Purity Prayer

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Father give me purity I pray. Make my thoughts line up with yours and the ones that don’t please make them accountable to your truth. Please anoint my mind with the truth and also let it overflow to those who come near. Please make my heart pure. Please help me see everybody for what is at their core and not to be easily offended. Please give me a giving spirit and not be selfish. Please give me the courage to preach your truth. Please make ready my feet and those who you will to gain from being affected by me and my life somehow whether they are blessed by giving to me, helping me, learning from me or even if they just don’t care for me let them see Christ in me and lead them in someway through the impact of anything they face please teach them the truth. We praise you in all your ways you have made all things beautiful in your time and in your ways. Amen.

Heartache

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I have been dwelling in a place that I now know as heartache. This is not the same as heartbreak because its been sometime now since I’ve had my heart really broken. Actually this isn’t true it has been recent like less than 6 months. I suppose this would explain my state of heartache. Heartache though is not something I’m choosing. As a matter of fact I’ve been trying really hard to step out of this yard of heartache. However I’m learning that even when I leave the yard of it, it is still there. It goes where I go because it comes from the inside. I suppose there is no instant heal spray. I suppose purposing to forgive isn’t a quick fix. I suppose distractions don’t resolve the ache… and it is not just I who aches, it is my children that ache. It is that boyfriend who aches. It is the friend who is always smiling who aches. We all suffer heart break, father how do we rid ourselves of such an infestation? I suppose part of it has to do with forgiving oneself. Maybe we are so busy forgiving others and not forgiving ourselves. I forgive myself for allowing myself to be vulnerable to be broken. I forgive myself for not being smarter to avoid getting my heart broken. I forgive myself for not being strong. I forgive myself for wanting to be loved. I forgive myself for not being perfect. I forgive myself for being someone who has beem rejected. I forgive myself for being me. Valuable life lessons can rise from the ashes of heart ache. One is compassion for others with heart ache. It helps when you know that you are valuable enough to inflict heart ache or even a healing in another persons life. Women (and me ) should not embark on giving their heart in an unhealthy endeavor to fix someone else. You wont fix someone else but you can lose yourself. Or.. is losing yourself the key? Its just impossible to enter into marriage without losing yourself to somebody in a way. You lose yourself by giving that person confidence.. which means you are risking betrayal. But my motto is.. don’t trust anyone.. therefore i don’t trust anyone. But that being said.. being married means you trust someone right? But i cannot trust anyone. I’m not ready.. but.. can a person ever truly be trusted? I suppose this means the test of time.. i don’t know I’m waiting for that one person who can ignite my trust. Is that possible? Only God knows what is best in the end.  I think he’s got this i just have to trust in his guidance on every matter. Especially when it comes to marriage partner.. the bible says that when we honor our parents we are putting a garland of wisdom and promise around our necks. We should listen to them. We should seek wisdom in marriage. We should follow their advice. We should follow.our fathers advice.. he knows best. Father please add learning to our ways. So that we can keep our path straight. Amen

 

That Feeling-Exposing Oppressions

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There is another side of being a prophet that I don’t like and wish I could understand more. That feeling I sometimes get. I wouldn’t call it anxiety because I understand the feeling and definition of anxiety very well. It’s that feeling. Its a sense of the negative side of the supernatural. There are many positive feelings one will get when in touch with the supernatural such as feeling God, hearing God, seeing God or at least perceiving him. There is no greater feeling in the world then when we are in his presence. No, this is a different feeling altogether. One that has led me to have anxiety but not this time because I have been set free from oppression. That is what this is. Oppression wants in. It used to be in, but now it only lurks through the window. It won’t get in but its very presence is… agitating.. when demons come our way to wage war.. we get more agitated, restless, on edge, edgy, depressed though this time i’m not depressed. I have so many thoughts that come to try to make me depressed.. but i was set free so its like pouring water on a duck.. just runs off the feathers. Along with these thoughts come people.. the same kind of people.. they have similar characteristics… to discourage, to put down, to control, to crush. When you see the same demon in many different faces you begin to learn who your enemy is. Knowledge is key to overcoming evil. Evil has to have a name so to speak. This is why when you watch an exorcism you often see the exorcist demand a name.. because naming him, understanding him and his nature and how he forms weapons against you.. then you can gain power and gain truth. Satan works under the cloak of darkness.. he is deception and he lies and he hides so he won’t be exposed. Instead we see the symptoms of a demon infestation. We see anger,depression, strife, perverse acts.. we see the results but the only way to truly be free of his plague is to pull him out by roots. No Satan you do not have a right to he here. Lucifer you are not welcome I bind you get out of my life, out of my kids life, out of my family’s life, out of the life of the listeners. We rebuke you we take authority and bind you in the name of Jesus Christ and I loose peace, truth, and patience to wait on you and do your will father God. We loose freedom we set the captives free from every shame, every lie, every thing that exalts itself to the truth. Your kingdom come God your will be done in earth and in our lives by your grace we have been set free amen.

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Why They Control-Reflection and Vent about Controlling People

So I have come across many people, especially men who want to control me, or change me. Today I realized the reason why this takes place. This is because they are afraid of a trait I have or don’t have that they think needs to be in place to have a successful relationship with me. Isn’t that true in all relationships? When a person tries to control or change you it is because #1 They are full of pride and believe that they know what you need and in essence are trying to play God, #2 They do not think you are acceptable the way you are. As for #1… no one is so smart or so holy or so perfect that they are equal to God and just because you have excelled in an area of triumph in your own personal life does not mean that you truly know what is best for another persons life, and people won’t like or appreciate your attempts to try to control them. #2- ok I get this, this means that you need to keep on walking brother. You like parts of me, but other parts of me not so much. Nope, if you are to be good enough for me, then not accepting all of me the good parts and the parts that are less than perfect, then you are not good enough for me. Yes, there is a place of correction, but this is not done in an attitude of controlling. We can pray and lovingly point out something to each other to help them, this is the way it should be. Help each other yes, but try to control a person and tell them how they should and should not be is something else altogether. You are not God, and I am not here to meet your needs or be in the place of your God in that I am not meant to meet all your needs, only God is. The way to deal with this is to observe a person and the way they are.. and you accept. Not try to change, just accept.. and then you ask yourself “is this person someone who really does it for me?” If the answer is not yes, then that is the way it is. Determine what sort of relationship you need with them and be real about it. Do not say “no I don’t accept so I’m going to help and pray for change” no, that is controlling and not a recipe for a long lasting relationship. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Not that your perfect fish will be perfect, but they should be someone you just love just as much for their weaknesses as you do their strengths. Someone who you “love” not for what they do for you, or how perfect they are, but because of simply who they are, flaws and all. Use that as a guide. It is not fair to the person who you are attempting to change either because that is surely not the love they hope for. Settling and attempting to change a person is the contrary to love, it is selfish.

Marriage and God’s Plan For My Life?

This is a topic that I have given much attention to and that I feel I should post about today. Why not? Don’t most single people want to remarry? A very few do not they say no, not for me, ever again! Then you have the few that don’t want to, however when they are honest they’ll say “sure, if I find the right person”, this is wise. You know I want to remarry, I did it wrong the first couple of times and now when I think about a third time a few things are happening inside of me. One is major anxiety! Lol.. Like when I have male friends I get close to and start considering this topic with, I lose peace which I feel is from God, but also I feel like there are deeper reasons. One yes there’s a thing called a spirit husband who might need to be dealt with, I’ve had a couple people see this when praying for me. However, I think this is because God really wants me to focus on him right now. Today I asked again “Father, you know I want to get married again” and his response? “Focus on ministry” lol. Not only has he been telling me this in my spirit, however people are starting to come out and tell me this in spirit as they are led. Yet, I still have the desire to marry. I know that this is the “seek ye first his kingdom and the rest will be added unto you” business meaning that as I seek to do the ministry he places on my heart, whether it be blogging, groups, fb, writing, getting established in a new church… and wherever he leads me, then my future spouse will find me. When I start focusing on a man in the natural, because there are so so many good, God fearing men, something happens, I lose peace!! Yet, they are serving to be good practice for me. I am finding out slowly what matters to me. One thing I do not want is someone to try to quench or control me. So many people come into my life to support or help me in prayer, yet as they get close to me they want to start criticizing me. I hate this.. not that I’m not open to correction, but it has to be in line with what the spirit says. And if you are not acting in the spirit then you are acting with the adversary, and I have listened to his voice plenty in my life, telling me I’m not good enough. Get behind me Satan I have a God and you friend are not him. So I’m learning that I don’t need a man to build me up, and if a man does not accept and love me as I am, then our relationship may not be ideal. I am who I am, and I am fine. No, not perfect but let that be between God and I, thank you. Yes I myself have much to learn as well. Maybe I need to learn more submission, maybe I need more attitude adjustment. All I know is that right now I need friends, and I need healing. I had not loved myself enough therefore I allowed people or even latched onto people who didn’t love me enough and then later abandoned me and hurt me in some way. Other then my first spouse, I mainly was the one who hurt him. No, no one is perfect, there is a place where I need forgiveness and to forgive, all of which I’ve already made a choice to do and have to daily keep making that choice. But for now, i really just want a friend. Someone who I do not feel I have to impress but who is there regardless. This is the problem with men who have romantic interest in me, they come with the motive to get romantic with me, and their friendship is conditional. No thanks, though if were not God’s desire that I still seek these friendships then he would change that desire, but he doesn’t. The desire to bond with men on a friendship level is strong. That we may mutually edify and pray for one another. This is all a learning process. But one thing is clear, I want God’s will.. that is the only way! Lord give us all strength and grace to do it your way. Amen.

Me and My Big Mouth

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You know how many well many friends believe that I am way too open and that I disclose way too much? Yet here I am sharing my blog for the world to read, and guess what.. I was led to do this. So my question is, why hush me? Really? Does what I say embarrass you for me? Because it does not embarrass me, so why does this embarrass you?? This is a great question I’m asking. You know I’ve been praying about my future marriage because we all know I will get married again, however I’ve already done it wrong twice and have absolutely no interest whatsoever in doing it wrong a third time. I didn’t want the first two to fail. The first time I thought I could will myself through it, and what can I say other than I was young, dumb, and disobeyed God. The second one the man was a real romeo you know, he was extremely fervent in chasing after me (this should have been a red flag), always bringing me flowers, writing me letters, making all sorts of promises and once he obtained me he became abusive, end of story. I stuck that one out as long as I did because I didn’t want to put my kids through yet another divorce. Eventually for their sake and my own I had to. That story had something in common with the first, I was not seeking God. The first man was a Christian but God clearly said no. The second was not even a Christian and actually had some demons of his own for sure. So, anyways back to my point… I am an open person. I’ve had people think that they can manipulate me because I am so open, sooooo what?? Really? Is that my problem? Should I change because other people are fools? No, not going to happen. In my personal opinion, a person who is not open is someone who has something to hide. Sure, there’s a place for wisdom may the Lord teach me if he thinks I need it, but for now I’m going to be myself and if people don’t like how I am, you know how to exit. 

The Little Things

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Sometimes little things can ruin our day. Little things like the way our morning goes before we even get out the door to get our day started. Maybe we lost our keys, our favorite book, car didn’t start, there are so many things that could go wrong. Maybe it was something someone said. Some things are bigger things than others, but some things that totally upset us are little things. Here’s a secret, even big things are also little things when we consider them in the face of God. 2 Corinthians 4:17 says-“For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison”. So what does it mean that our light and momentary afflictions are working for our eternal glory? Well, when we respond by getting angry, maybe yelling a little, cursing a little, or kicking something (all of which I have been guilty of when getting real frustrated, and kicking something doesn’t help anything except causes a little pain), then this glory isn’t necessarily in the works for us. No, this means that our light and momentary afflictions have the potential to work out for our future glory. We are told in Hebrews chapter 12 to endure hardship as discipline from the Lord. It says that he allows us to have hardship because he is our heavenly father who loves us, and we are given an illustration of how we as evil people rebuke our children, and he rebukes us as well, but for our own good. Hebrews 12:11 states-
“No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way”. Do you note that there is a condition here, the condition is that if we are trained by it. A child can either make the disciplinary process productive for themselves, or more grievous. For example, I have a pre-teen daughter who in her hormonal state she is often mean and snotty to her siblings, provoking fights when there doesn’t need to be. In an attempt to correct her I’ve taken away toys or even given her time out. I had given her a choice when given time out, I say to her “when you are ready to quit your attitude, you can come out”. Do you know that this child is so stubborn she will sit there for a very long time still expecting me to tell her that she can come out without changing her attitude or taking any responsibility. She is choosing not to be trained by the discipline she is given and therefore prolongs her disciplinary action, really making it more grievous for herself. This is the way our hardships often work for us as well. Though having a change in attitude doesn’t necessarily take away the hardship, but rather it makes the hardship be cut down to size and this gives us patience and increases our faith and strength.

We are told in James chapter 1 to rejoice when we experience hardships because of the character that it develops and I can relate to this, can you? Have you had a problem that you’ve faced for a very long time that you had prayed and prayed or hoped would go away and have done all you can do to make it go away, yet it really didn’t go away, or rather it took a lot of work and learning to get this weakness under control just to eventually gain character and knowledge that is invaluable in the process? If I am correct, that is what the song “Believer” by Imagine Dragons is about, how the song writer had a life long trial with chronic pain. We wise people learn over time to be grateful for our hardships because we learn that in the long run they develop wonderful things in our character that we cannot obtain otherwise. My personal battle has been with fear. Shortly after I was spirit filled and anointed for great things I experienced the worst fear in my entire life and oppression. It began when I was 17 and made me go a bit crazy in that I prayed constantly to make it go away, and then began a new battle with legalism because in my attempt to make the fear and anxieties go away I attempted to be perfect and follow the law perfectly because I felt very condemned like I had lost my peace with God, my grace and this was extremely traumatic because I was just experiencing the heaven of walking in his spirit. I was later diagnosed with OCD, and attacked it from a medical stand point, which the medication did help. However we are not just physical beings, we are spirit beings. The medication helped ease the strain of fear, but overcoming it took years and year and years of learning, scripture reading and renewing the of the mind, and also deliverance, though this was one spirit that was not going away by the laying on of hands, but rather it has taken getting the truth deep down into my soul. And although it was tormenting I had gotten stronger and stronger and finally it’s about licked, well for the most part. If I had not experienced this fear and then the fight to overcome legalism, learning to be free from the religious spirit then I would not be where I am right now in my understanding and faith. Thank you Jesus. Now, I am experiencing another obstacle that seems to be there to teach me a lesson, and this lesson is to trust God in every situation. Amen, thank you father for the little things that lead to huge lessons. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

The Words of a Prophet (part 2)

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The prophetic gift is so amazing. It is a huge blessing to be used by God and also a major responsibility. When a prophet is flowing in the spirit and acting in God’s will then many many people become edified, a church might burst into revival with holy ghost flames, and people are stirred in their own personal gifts.. these seeds or the impregnation with these seeds of God give birth to fruits that include more ministers, more words, more truth, captives are healed and set free and people have direction from above so their focus becomes focused in the direction that God wants.

You see we prophets are the conduits of God’s kingdom. When people receive from us, it is not us in the natural but the heavenly father they are waiting for and who they are held accountable to. When a person receives a prophetic word they are receiving from the Lord. When they act on faith according to this word they are blessed by God for their acts of faith and obedience and when they reject the word of the Lord they are held accountable according to their works by the same Lord. The words leave the mouth of the prophet but the results are according to that person and God. The word says if these give a little one a drink of water in his name, then they are giving a drink to the Lord. This is about Heart attitude.

God also respects and protects the words of a prophet that are given by faith through his spirit. No it is not that we dictate what God does, but this is about #1 his partnership with his chosen, his children and # 2 a fulfillment of his word. When you read what the word speaks about prophets we are lead to understand that a true prophet will be proved by the outcome of his word. If what he says comes to pass then we know the prophet is of God. However let me encourage you more on this brothers and sisters in the Lord. There are times that a prophet will speak of things to come that we may not even see come to pass in our life time.. but yet they still come to pass.

Jesus understood more than anyone this powerful concept. He knew by knowledge given through the holy spirit that he was the one sent by God to he our Messiah as he quoted Isaiah in Luke 4:18

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised”

He knew by faith that he was the one to come and how many years had taken place since the prophet Isaiah was lead to speak this prophesy? Jesus and many other Israelites relied heavily on the words of the prophets back then as they had scrolls from their forefathers. Jesus studied these words and by Gods spirit understood these words and most of his ministry was interpreting the essence of the word of God to everyone. He did essentially “open the eyes of the blind” not only physically but spiritually as well. This is why he said “let those who have ears to hear hear”.

Jesus also waited by God’s leading on the fulfillment of the words of the prophets because he was shown by God that the fulfillment of these words had to take place as he said Luke 24:44

“He said to them, “This is what I told you while I was still with you: Everything must be fulfilled that is written about me in the Law of Moses, the Prophets and the psalms” he like us waited on God to bring about the fulfillment of his word, the prophetic word of God lead Jesus in his ministry and to the end of his life!

We are told that a day would come in which people would serve God in spirit and in truth. Jesus began this process by fulfilling the words of the prophets he was spirit made flesh and died for our redemption in that he provided the forgiveness of our sins but the story does not end here. No, rather his story has just begun.

Jesus said that we will do even greater things then he did and that when he left us the holy spirit helper would come to be with us so that we can finish what he began. Now the rest is up to us.

Prophesies are still be given today and prophets are being brought up even now as we speak. Through prophesies will shall receive new revelations, insight, understanding, stirring up of the saints and at times warnings and corrections because God used his prophets to correct as well.

One of the responsibilities of being a prophet of God is to always speak the word he gives us. After we have been tested and tested the spirits and know in our hearts that it is him who speaks we must speak. Brothers and sisters those who are lead to prophesy this is for us. We must br faithful to speak. There are times as i hear the father that i am stirred up with happy positive loving things to say to a person. These are happy times. However there are times when God reveals something that i may not want to share because they are not so happy and fluffy to share or for the hearer to take but i tell you always be fearful to speak from God because it is this very word that might cause that person to be saved. That is the price of being a prophet. When he speaks we speak. When we are lead to a place that is dessert or that is scary, we listen and go.. and wait. That is for someone. Amen

 

 

The Words of a Prophet (part 1)

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We are blessed with the gift of prophesy, either directly as some are given the gift by the anointing of the holy spirit (and if this is not of the holy spirit then we need to be considering the demon of divination), or passively by enjoying the prophetic word given by someone with this gift.

A true prophetic word has a few key components. The very most essential component is that it originates from God. A prophetic word that comes forth from the prophet’s mouth first was given to the prophet by God, a true prophet will only speak out what the Lord God had imparted to them, whether by a gift of wisdom, knowledge, or revelation. Sometimes it feels like the Lord comes and drops these things in our spirit as a friend describes “into our spiritual womb” and it makes one feel slightly full and burdened as if pregnant and is a relief when we finally utter that word and “give birth” to this spirit baby lol.

So the next component is that the prophetic word is received by and given forth by faith. By faith we learn that it is God who is giving us this message and it is his will that we speak forth this message. It is something that is learned as the prophet Samuel had to learn. When Samuel was still a child and called by the Lord he didn’t recognize this at first, all he knew is that he kept hearing a voice call his name. Finally with some help from a more experienced minister he was taught that when he heard this voice he should turn an ear and say “yes Lord” then listen so this shows us that when this gift is imparted God will call us and speak to us and we can have the “gift” before we ever really understand this. I myself had been given this gift many years ago, but it has taken me all these years to learn the ins and outs of the gift and to mostly have the confidence of faith to use it.. but Satan also knows usually even before we do and will attack that person to darken their star, though sometimes it is these very attacks from the adversary against the prophet that ends up serving to shape and strengthen them in their fight against him. If you are one who has experienced many heart breaks, rejections, devastation then look at it this way- Satan sees you inner star even if you yourself have not seen it yet.

The gift of prophesy is used for a couple of purposes- to exhort, edify, inspire a person a church it will always point to God and not the prophet. Yes the prophet will receive some glory in that they are respected as a man or woman of God but the gift itself is not meant to make us serve that person, but rather to increase our love and service to God.. to be continued…