Where Can I Go?

Where can I go that you that you won’t be there? Why do I act as if I have to get your attention when you are already there? I don’t have to attract you, you pursued me before I even knew who you were. What can I do that would separate me from your love? Can anything separate me from your love? My only limitation has been my own lack of understanding, but since you are everywhere, then why do I have to be limited? If I need your help, I only have to ask. You are there. Everywhere I go, you are there. You are near me, you are not far. You know how many hairs I have on my head, and you have designed me to have many. What is wrong inside of me Lord? Find that thing. Whatever it is that seeks to pervert my idea of you, or get in between my understanding of you, please seek it and destroy it Jesus. Bring every thought within me and around me into the submission of your will and stoke the Holy Ghost fire. Every time something is sent to distract me Lord, please use it as tinder to cause a bigger blaze of fire. Oh my soul, why ever be downcast within me, Jesus is greater than he who is in the world. When he hung on the cross at Calvary and rose again to take his rightful place on the throne of my soul he rested from his work and said it was done. The final touches that were needed to seal the deal of my salvation were done when for the pardon of my iniquities he died on that cross. Thoughts come against my very sense of self-worth and accomplishment. Bullets have always been aimed at my head to steal my light. People, even God fearing people want to help Satan to try to dim the natural light within my soul without even knowing it. Lord, you have made my enemies stepping stones and tinder for the fire that you meant to burn so bright. My enemies kneel down and help me step up, up and up until I truly am a city on a hill so that I can magnify you over the entire earth. Who can put out this Holy flame? I am the bride of Christ.

God’s Love Is Perfect

God’s love is perfect. He loves us when we don’t deserve it, and because he is so loving, he will justify us when we trespass against him because he came to us first. We love him because he first loved us. His love is perfect. When men and women did not esteem him, and even hated him, he died for them on the cross. He did this even though they would not recognize what he had done. He received no recognition from many for his sacrifice. He didn’t do good to us so that we would love him in return, rather he did good to us because of love. His love is perfect. When we looked to the world to make us whole, and it chewed us up and spit us out, and we cried, wondering who was there, did anyone truly care, he was there and unlike no other he understood because he was alone too while he was being treated like a criminal when he was really innocent, hanging on that cross. God’s love is perfect, and it was manifested in his Son, who died and gave his life for us. Not so that we could ever give him anything in return, but because he truly loved us. His love is still perfect.

Even When It Hurts

I’ve found that some of our most destructive patterns occur in the midst of pain. When we get angry, hurt, offended we become defensive and in an attempt to defend ourselves we can say mean and hurtful things to others. We didn’t mean it that way, we hope they will forgive and understand us. In time they might. Some wounds can take a life time to heal. Yet there is hope. There is a way around the destruction that wants to destroy our friendships, relationships, and our homes. We can obey God even when it hurts. We can seek out his answers to our pains, and be willing to be objective to our pain, rather than offensive while in pain. Take the time to hear the other side. Listen to their pain, understand their sorrow, even when it hurts. In 1 Corinthians chapter 13, what we call the love chapter in the bible, the first descriptive word that is given to define love, is patience. Love is patient. Love does not need absolution right now. Love does not need its own needs met right now. God is the greater judge and he sees all, and he promises that when we sow seeds while we have sorrow, our harvest will be joy. Love bears all things, hopes all things, believes the best. It is patient and kind. It listens. It considers the other person. It puts its own feelings and thoughts aside so it can be the healing salve for another. If that person needs space from you, then pray they will find the care and comfort they seek. Pray they will be protected, well fed, and nourished. Love believes the best in every person. Love conquers all. Love is not self-seeking. It does not count another’s faults. Love, even when it hurts, and we will reap our reward, even if it is only helping another through their trials.

Just Give Me Jesus

Ive been experiencing a loneliness that comes from feeling unloved and uncared about in a real way by many in my life . This has turned into a call to separate from people for the most part and spend time with God. The truth is that only God is able to meet me in the deepest way that I need. I hear scriptures play in my thoughts, that in his presence is fullness of joy. When we enter a time of disenchantment with people and life.. it is also connected to a need for something more. We are told that those who belong to God don’t consider earth their home.. in other words we groan and crave for something more lasting, more complete, more whole. I think sometimes it would be nice to have a partner to do things with, to watch a show with, to spend time with. But I’ve had that and it was a big dissapointment because they didnt want to do what i wanted to do, and I depended on them to meet the deepest needs in me. That failed, they failed, I was miserable.. and so were they because I was. I now cannot think of a single person or single thing in life that can complete me.. if I had found contentment with anyone or anything else then I wouldnt be so hungry for God. I am so hungry for him.. and as I enter into his presence I am fulfilled . I have many material needs in my life , always one stress after another after another .. tithing seems to help my view of money but not my bank account. I finally see these issues for what they are, distractions. Because they keep coming and coming. I prayed to God for the umpteenth time about these things and he didnt even respond to those issues.. he tells me to come away with him and to spend time thinking about what is important. The storms keep raging on but they won’t keep me distracted . I will focus on God. I will enter the holiest place, the safest place whixh is his presence. Not trying to figure out the answers because we don’t know how God will provide.. we cannot rationalize those things. I just need to know one thing, his grace is enough. His voice is enough , his word is enough. His love is enough. Amen. Now im finding that i have a great peace within me, a joy, a glow.. no im not perfect, but I know God is with me.. That is really all I need. As long as he’s with me, all else matters not. Just please never leave me I ask him, and he says he won’t . This is the greatest love story . It can be everyones. We don’t have to have that person, that recognition, that promotion, that need met..

Just give me Jesus 💖

Hard Pressed

I am hard pressed but not destroyed… God is with me so no matter what I face, I will be ok. When we experience earthly challenges whether it be a death of someone we know, financial crisis, hunger, or lack of any kind, then we can rejoice. The reason being that we know that our faith is being put to the test and therefore being perfected. We also learn to value what is truly important. When faced with a decision of whether to fret or not, and we’ve decided that fretting is not Godly, not acting in faith, and not productive, then we learn that God truly is in control, and by golly we better listen if we wish to overcome and come out of this on the right side. At least that is how I’m feeling by his grace. I’m enduing some trials, however thanks to God’s grace, I am still full of peace and joy. I’m not going to say it doesn’t feel hard and scary sometimes. I am not going to say that I don’t feel discouraged sometimes. That would be a lie. But the fact is that I truly believe in God and I truly know that he will come through for me, no matter what the outcome is I know he is in control. We must relinquish all our troubles to him and let him guide us all the way. Yes Lord, amen.

Good News

There will come a day when I will help many people with the things that I teach. What will draw crowds to me is that the things that I say will be the good news. For beautiful are the feet of the one who brings tidings of peace. Why would people gather to hear? Because it is the truth, and the truth is such good stuff. In John 10:10 Jesus spoke and proclaimed, “Satan came to steal away your life, but I came that you would have and enjoy your life”. It is the spiritual plague that Satan uses to undermine the hand of God in our lives. It is his lies that we are not good enough, that it will never be better, that God doesn’t love us. It is the lie that no matter how much we try we will never overcome or achieve peace. It is that he shows our mistakes and our inadequacies on display for not only us, but also for the word to see. You see, our battle is not to rid ourselves of all those things, though that may become the focus of our fight. Rather, our battle is to believe what God says, the good news that we are now complete, the good news that we are forgiven, the good news that nothing we do can ever truly separate us from the love of God. That we are holy and dearly loved, and that it will be ok. That we truly are ok if we would just allow the Lord, the Holy Spirit cleanse and redeem us. It will be ok. Thank you Father for your revelations, they are such a special thing to have. Help me always to be fruitful and get the word out. Also, help me to continue to become perfect in trusting you Father God. Trust that you are faithful to lead the way. My personal challenge is believing on a subconscious level that I’ve been, or will be abandoned. Lord, by your Holy Spirit place set us, or us free. Thank you. Amen.

Trust In God Alone

I am at a place in my life in which I must believe God. I know his voice.. yet, I am not one that just takes him at his voice. Just as I don’t take a prophesy as a done deal. I must see and hear him over and over again. I hate to admit it, but I’m starting to wonder if I’m truly a doubting Thomas. It is not God who I don’t trust really, it is myself. I’ve been told this before, and since I’ve been told this, I’ve found out that it is true. I think most people will admit that if they heard God’s voice, and they knew it was his will, then they wouldn’t doubt. We see a few examples of this in the bible.. 1 John 5:15 states that when we know God hears us, then we know that we will have what we asked for. Also, we have an example in Matthew 8:2 in which a man with leprosy told Jesus, “Lord, if you are willing.. then you can make me clean”. The issue isn’t that we doubt that the Lord is able, rather the issue is that we doubt he is willing. So, when I hear God’s voice and it doesn’t make sense, then I will keep asking or trying to figure out the answer. I am admitting right now that I must hear it in many different forms, and see it in many different ways before I will finally say, “The Lord is clearly telling me…….” because I do not want to delude myself or misinterpret anything! Plus, doubt is there…

Now, there certainly is a difference between doubt that we have, and the doubt that talks to us and makes us question. Questioning is not bad, after all.. we should be sure that we are sure that we are sure that we are hearing God. So, that being said, maybe all this doubting or “questioning” is a good thing. Maybe there is a difference between doubt, which is truly questioning our belief, or believing, but wanting to make extra sure.. this is caution. Now in Philipians chapter 4 we are told to be cautious/anxious for nothing, supposing which version of the bible you are reading. However, if we step out in faith, but have doubts.. then how is whatever we are stepping out to do ever going to weather the storm.

This is how I gain so much confidence in any stand that I take. I take my stands with confidence that won’t waver, because my stance has already been affirmed to me. I’ve already weighed it, or it was given so clearly to me beyond a shadow of the doubt. If having temptations to doubt, or if having doubts leads us to question God for extra confirmation, then is that a bad thing? I think not! Let’s take Gideon for example. I have a friend who always recommends Gideon’s approach to faith. Gideon was told by God that he was to raise an army to defeat the enemy. At first he questioned, not God’s ability, but rather he questioned himself. He questioned his own worth. He questioned if God would really do this for him, he wanted to be certain that he heard God right. So he tested God. You see, the word says do not test God, but in this situation Gideon was seeking reassurance, not being challenging… he wanted to know for sure, so he asked God for a specific sign, and he gave it to him, a couple days in the row. Until Gideon was sure. You see, I think that the bible gives us enough examples of men questioning God and asking specific requests and requirements of God, and God being patient and granting them to show us that God is NOT concerned that we question him. He is actually very patient. He is more concerned about us being sure. So we should seek his face until we are sure.

Now, once we are certain, then we should take the step of faith. Because once we are doing what we are told to do in Ephesians 6:13, to do all that we can do to stand, then we continue to stand. This means that challenges will come against us in the form of circumstances, people discouraging words, tests.. and this is how we develop patience. Do not grow weary in doing good, in this case obeying God and trusting in him… but rather hold fast to that promise that you have not yet received. God told Abraham he would have a child by Sarah, yet they grew weary in waiting, actually it was sarah who grew weary in waiting, so she offered her hand maiden, suggesting the promise would come by her. She was a test to Abraham. Abraham did as she suggested, however if he had stood firm on what God had originally said to him, then maybe they would have never beget Ishmael. However, God is so wise in that he allows certain events to take place because he has a bigger plan and purpose. There is yet a plan for this enemy nation towards Israel, the Ishmaelites . How do I know? Well, I could give you scripture about how God makes everything to work for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purposes. Abraham beget Ishmael, do we really think that God would not also bless him? Even if he wasn’t part of God’s instruction, God is good and still has a purpose. Do you believe? I believe.

I went on a bunny trail for God’s purposes. What God is doing in my life is he is bringing me to a place of surrender to trying to figure out things in my own understanding, and just to trust him. You see, it was also Gideon who God did the impossible through. He not only gave Gideon victory, but he did it with a handful of men compared to the large army that Gideon in his rational mind concluded was needed, God reduced that. You see, God specializes in doing the impossible. We just have to obey him. That is the only part we are to play. God, please help me trust and obey. Amen.