Who Am I?

Satan had tried to confuse me from the beginning of my life about my worth through implanting the belief that I was not worthy. Now with the Lord’s wisdom I see these lies and am dispelling them one by one. How can we know we are worthy while feeling unworthy? When your very deepest voice tells you that you are never as good as anyone else, then you might believe you are not ever as good as anyone else, therefore you are not worthy of love, of promotion, of blessings, and you then become desperate for some measure of grace and seek to earn approval or rely on all sorts of ineffective coping strategies to gain that sense of self-worth, but the fight is conquered not from without, but from within us. We observe that small voice telling us we are not good enough, and then we start disregarding it. No, we cannot argue with it, because arguing with it means it has some sort of influence, instead we just ignore the voice deep within that tells us we are not good enough. If God paid the price of letting his only dearly loved son die in anguish and suffer torment for us, then we are worthy of the greatest love, because Jesus died for us and no king on earth will ever be more worthy of a crown or riches or praise then Jesus Christ. So we fight to feel valued, we fight people who do not make us feel valued, we over achieve or underachieve but there is only one thing that we need to win this battle, and it is to know who you are. I am worthy of love, I am worthy of respect, and even if someone does not respect me then it is because of their flaw, not mine because I AM indeed worthy. I personally resort to down grading comparison meaning rather than having the common issue of resorting to boastful comparison, I instead see the good in people and feel bad about myself because in my eyes I see everyone else as worthy but have neglected to see myself as such. Every person has value even if we are not all just alike. I am gentle, I am caring, I am humble, I see the value of everyone. I am blessed. I am reflective, I am kind, I am wise with the insight that God gives me. I am cute, I am shy, I am innocent, I am curvy, I am imperfect yet perfectly imperfect. I don’t know everything but I am smart enough to understand that I do not have to know everything. I am God’s, I am saved, I am adopted into the kingdom of Light, I am a child of God, I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, I am loved. Thank you God for making me someone.

Don’t Judge

There are people in the world who misbehave, yet God loves them. I see a person now who God loves so dearly. He loves them so much that he would put the world on pause just to win a moment of their attention. When God loves someone, it is because he values that person. We in the world cannot judge. These people are not always church material, but God sees their inner motives and knows the comings and goings of their soul. He loves people very much, some have more of his interest then others because he wants to set a fire ablaze in their hearts. No one knows these people except God, so don’t judge. Amen.

Where Can I Go?

Where can I go that you that you won’t be there? Why do I act as if I have to get your attention when you are already there? I don’t have to attract you, you pursued me before I even knew who you were. What can I do that would separate me from your love? Can anything separate me from your love? My only limitation has been my own lack of understanding, but since you are everywhere, then why do I have to be limited? If I need your help, I only have to ask. You are there. Everywhere I go, you are there. You are near me, you are not far. You know how many hairs I have on my head, and you have designed me to have many. What is wrong inside of me Lord? Find that thing. Whatever it is that seeks to pervert my idea of you, or get in between my understanding of you, please seek it and destroy it Jesus. Bring every thought within me and around me into the submission of your will and stoke the Holy Ghost fire. Every time something is sent to distract me Lord, please use it as tinder to cause a bigger blaze of fire. Oh my soul, why ever be downcast within me, Jesus is greater than he who is in the world. When he hung on the cross at Calvary and rose again to take his rightful place on the throne of my soul he rested from his work and said it was done. The final touches that were needed to seal the deal of my salvation were done when for the pardon of my iniquities he died on that cross. Thoughts come against my very sense of self-worth and accomplishment. Bullets have always been aimed at my head to steal my light. People, even God fearing people want to help Satan to try to dim the natural light within my soul without even knowing it. Lord, you have made my enemies stepping stones and tinder for the fire that you meant to burn so bright. My enemies kneel down and help me step up, up and up until I truly am a city on a hill so that I can magnify you over the entire earth. Who can put out this Holy flame? I am the bride of Christ.

God’s Love Is Perfect

God’s love is perfect. He loves us when we don’t deserve it, and because he is so loving, he will justify us when we trespass against him because he came to us first. We love him because he first loved us. His love is perfect. When men and women did not esteem him, and even hated him, he died for them on the cross. He did this even though they would not recognize what he had done. He received no recognition from many for his sacrifice. He didn’t do good to us so that we would love him in return, rather he did good to us because of love. His love is perfect. When we looked to the world to make us whole, and it chewed us up and spit us out, and we cried, wondering who was there, did anyone truly care, he was there and unlike no other he understood because he was alone too while he was being treated like a criminal when he was really innocent, hanging on that cross. God’s love is perfect, and it was manifested in his Son, who died and gave his life for us. Not so that we could ever give him anything in return, but because he truly loved us. His love is still perfect.

Even When It Hurts

I’ve found that some of our most destructive patterns occur in the midst of pain. When we get angry, hurt, offended we become defensive and in an attempt to defend ourselves we can say mean and hurtful things to others. We didn’t mean it that way, we hope they will forgive and understand us. In time they might. Some wounds can take a life time to heal. Yet there is hope. There is a way around the destruction that wants to destroy our friendships, relationships, and our homes. We can obey God even when it hurts. We can seek out his answers to our pains, and be willing to be objective to our pain, rather than offensive while in pain. Take the time to hear the other side. Listen to their pain, understand their sorrow, even when it hurts. In 1 Corinthians chapter 13, what we call the love chapter in the bible, the first descriptive word that is given to define love, is patience. Love is patient. Love does not need absolution right now. Love does not need its own needs met right now. God is the greater judge and he sees all, and he promises that when we sow seeds while we have sorrow, our harvest will be joy. Love bears all things, hopes all things, believes the best. It is patient and kind. It listens. It considers the other person. It puts its own feelings and thoughts aside so it can be the healing salve for another. If that person needs space from you, then pray they will find the care and comfort they seek. Pray they will be protected, well fed, and nourished. Love believes the best in every person. Love conquers all. Love is not self-seeking. It does not count another’s faults. Love, even when it hurts, and we will reap our reward, even if it is only helping another through their trials.

Just Give Me Jesus

Ive been experiencing a loneliness that comes from feeling unloved and uncared about in a real way by many in my life . This has turned into a call to separate from people for the most part and spend time with God. The truth is that only God is able to meet me in the deepest way that I need. I hear scriptures play in my thoughts, that in his presence is fullness of joy. When we enter a time of disenchantment with people and life.. it is also connected to a need for something more. We are told that those who belong to God don’t consider earth their home.. in other words we groan and crave for something more lasting, more complete, more whole. I think sometimes it would be nice to have a partner to do things with, to watch a show with, to spend time with. But I’ve had that and it was a big dissapointment because they didnt want to do what i wanted to do, and I depended on them to meet the deepest needs in me. That failed, they failed, I was miserable.. and so were they because I was. I now cannot think of a single person or single thing in life that can complete me.. if I had found contentment with anyone or anything else then I wouldnt be so hungry for God. I am so hungry for him.. and as I enter into his presence I am fulfilled . I have many material needs in my life , always one stress after another after another .. tithing seems to help my view of money but not my bank account. I finally see these issues for what they are, distractions. Because they keep coming and coming. I prayed to God for the umpteenth time about these things and he didnt even respond to those issues.. he tells me to come away with him and to spend time thinking about what is important. The storms keep raging on but they won’t keep me distracted . I will focus on God. I will enter the holiest place, the safest place whixh is his presence. Not trying to figure out the answers because we don’t know how God will provide.. we cannot rationalize those things. I just need to know one thing, his grace is enough. His voice is enough , his word is enough. His love is enough. Amen. Now im finding that i have a great peace within me, a joy, a glow.. no im not perfect, but I know God is with me.. That is really all I need. As long as he’s with me, all else matters not. Just please never leave me I ask him, and he says he won’t . This is the greatest love story . It can be everyones. We don’t have to have that person, that recognition, that promotion, that need met..

Just give me Jesus 💖

Hard Pressed

I am hard pressed but not destroyed… God is with me so no matter what I face, I will be ok. When we experience earthly challenges whether it be a death of someone we know, financial crisis, hunger, or lack of any kind, then we can rejoice. The reason being that we know that our faith is being put to the test and therefore being perfected. We also learn to value what is truly important. When faced with a decision of whether to fret or not, and we’ve decided that fretting is not Godly, not acting in faith, and not productive, then we learn that God truly is in control, and by golly we better listen if we wish to overcome and come out of this on the right side. At least that is how I’m feeling by his grace. I’m enduing some trials, however thanks to God’s grace, I am still full of peace and joy. I’m not going to say it doesn’t feel hard and scary sometimes. I am not going to say that I don’t feel discouraged sometimes. That would be a lie. But the fact is that I truly believe in God and I truly know that he will come through for me, no matter what the outcome is I know he is in control. We must relinquish all our troubles to him and let him guide us all the way. Yes Lord, amen.